


Pure

by gabicpa



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Blood, Brother-Sister Relationships, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Smut, Innocence, Mention of abuse, Violence, someone just give jim gordon a hug
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-16
Updated: 2018-08-22
Packaged: 2018-12-15 23:09:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 38,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11816130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gabicpa/pseuds/gabicpa
Summary: When Agatha comes back to Gotham, the city is not the same. Thieves, murderers and scammers are all over the place and it scares her. Gotham is no place for sweet, innocent girls like her. But she wants a better shot at life. A better chance of making her dream come true. No more hiding in small towns, no more dreaming. It's time to do something.Victor Zsasz thinks she's something else. She's different. She's young. She's pure. He wants her. He wants her for himself and doesn't wanna share. He doesn't know why the girl makes him go crazy. He just have to have her and it kills him.When both meet, Agatha is just a girl, trying to grow out from her mother's embrace and Victor is just a dog, doing what his boss tells him to do. Both are different. Two completely different people that are heading for a very similar future.





	1. day one

**Author's Note:**

> The story takes place right after 3x05.

Agatha took a deep breath and clutched harder on her square suitcase; her heart was beating fast as she entered the Gotham City Police Department. The place was filled with people walking around everywhere, policemen and detectives. She looked around the place, looking for someone who would help her. She shrank her shoulders at the sound of a strange voice towards her.

“Can I help you, sweetheart?”

The girl looked at the bearded man who stared back at her. The words almost didn’t come out of her mouth when she tried to speak.

“I- I’m looking for… James Gordon?” She said in a small voice.

“Jim? He doesn’t work here anymore.”

Agatha’s face fell and turned bright red; slightly gasping and swallowing hard after. The shame was too much for her and now she just wanted to run away from there.

“Oh.” She let it escape. “I’m sorry, I- I thought-”

“That’s okay.” The man interrupted her. “Do you know him?”

"Y- Yeah...?"

The hesitation in her voice made the detective not trust her. It was just a slight stutter, Agatha was really shy and her voice would betray her every time she was nervous. However, the long-haired detective didn't know that and decided to keep her in the delegacy, just in case she was one more of those crazy people controlled by Jarvis.

"You know what, um..." He said. "Why don't you just sit down here and I'll give him a call, okay?"

The girl was confused by the sudden rudeness of the detective but obeyed him, sitting on the bench he pointed to. She watched as he walked away, flipping his phone open and dialing a number. Sighing, she looked away, shaking her head and closing her eyes.

She shouldn't have returned. She should have listened to her mother. Gotham was no place for young girls. It was too dangerous for her. Her thoughts were interrupted when another man sat on the bench beside her.

"Will this take much longer?" He said as he sat down letting a long sigh out. "I have stuff to do, you know."

"We know, Victor," The previous detective that was talking to Agatha said to him. "We know exactly what kind of stuff you're talking about."

Victor Zsasz sighed and shook his head. He didn't know what kind of energy or force moved him to agree to give a statement about what happened on the previous night. It was just him coping with a plan by the Mayor's chief of staff to expose Butch. Not a big ideal.

It didn’t matter anymore because he had just noticed the girl beside him. With a half smile, he turned his body towards her and stared down at her. She was wearing a simple white blouse with a navy blue vintage skirt; her short legs were crossed and her small foot was bouncing up and down like she was nervous. The hitman watched as she tucked a strand of her recently cut hair behind her ear; her nails were painted with a pale pink and it only made her look even more innocent. She looked young, very young.

Agatha swallowed hard as she saw the man staring at her, getting more and more nervous than she already was. She didn’t take a better look at the man, but she could tell he was one of them. The ones on Jim’s letters. The ones that tried to kill him, the ones who terrify the streets of Gotham, the thieves and the murderers and scammers. The former detective had already told everything about them.

But she didn't know Victor. For some reason, James Gordon hadn't even mentioned his name to her. Still, she sensed some bad energy coming from him. Maybe it was the way he crossed his legs and turned his entire body towards her and stared her down as if she was the prey and him, the hunter. Maybe.

The girl sighed and looked at her wristwatch. It had only been five minutes since Bullock had left her there. Every second seemed like an eternity. From the corner of her eye, she could see the way he watched her, tapping his finger on the back of the bench.

“These crazy detectives, huh?” Victor finally said, getting her attention.

Agatha looked properly at him for the first time. Pale skin, dark eyes, bald and a slick smile on his face that only grew in the moment she looked at him. She swallowed hard, and turned her gaze away from him, muttering a quiet ‘mm-hmm’.

“You’re not from here, are you?” He spoke again, after observing her cheeks turn pink.

The girl looked at him again and spoke in a small voice. “I left Gotham when I was young.”

“And you’re coming back now?”

She nodded again, a microscope smile on her face. Looking at her watch once more, she sighed.

“You don’t talk much, do you?” He said and Agatha closed her eyes, sighing.

God, how she hated when people said that to her. No, she didn’t talk much, it was her personality. She was shy and quiet her whole life and she didn’t see any problem with that. No one in her family pushed her to talk more or expose herself to the world, because they accepted her just the way she was. And for that she was thankful. Ignoring the anger inside her chest, she shook her head, answering his question.

“Agatha?” She heard a familiar voice echo through the station.

“Jim!” The girl exclaimed, quickly standing up from the bench, the suitcase still on her hands. A small smile formed on her face and it was the first time Victor, who watched the scene, saw her actually smile. It lasted a couple seconds, but still.

Jim Gordon approached the girl with a confused look on his face. “I thought you were coming tomorrow?”

“Oh, I texted you…?” She said, walking towards him. “I came earlier because I have a job interview tomorrow.”

“You could’ve just called.” He shrugged, giving her a small smile. The same smile she had.

“I’m more of a-”

“Letter person, yeah, I know.” He interrupted her and then quickly pulled her into a warm embrace. She hesitated, but returned the hug, inhaling the familiar cologne he still used after all that time. “Missed you, Peanut.”

“I missed you too, Jimbo.”

The moment was interrupted by detective Harvey Bullock, who cleared his throat to get their attention.

“Oh, sorry,” Jim said, letting go of Agatha. “Bullock, this is my sister, Agatha.”

“ _Half-_ sister.” She corrected.

“Right.” He said, watching Agatha shake hands with Harvey and taking the suitcase out of her hands. “Half-sister.”

“Harvey,” The older man said, smiling. “Jim never mentioned he had a sister.”

She smiled. “And I thank him for that.”

“She likes it that way,” Gordon explained, shrugging. “C’mon, I’ll drive you home.”

After saying goodbye to Bullock, Agatha smiled and tensed up as she felt her brother’s hand on the small of her back. What she didn’t notice, was that the assassin that was still sitting on the bench was watching the entire moment. There, he could notice how Jim’s sister didn’t like to wait in the department and how she didn’t like to be touched by him. Her smile was beautiful, but it was fake. He watched as they walked away and when they were almost out, he couldn’t miss the opportunity.

“See you soon, Agatha.” He said and watched she turned around to look at him.

The girl saw a half grin towards her and shivered. Jim didn’t hear what Victor had said and kept walking out of the building. The hitman watched her turn back and chuckled.

So pure.

…

“You cut your hair,” Jim said as he took her sister to his… _Their_ apartment.

“You’re not a detective anymore,” Agatha replied, looking at him. He just sighed and shrugged.

“I still am,” His voice cracked. “Just not a GCDP cop anymore.”

“Being a P.I. is not like being a detective at all, Jim.” She argued. There was a small silence before her brother spoke again, trying to change the subject.

“So, a job interview, huh?”

“Mm-hmm.” She smirked. “At a library.”

“A library? Makes sense.”

Agatha chuckled. “What better place for a future writer to work than a library?”

Another silence. Jim was desperately trying to make her talk. In the past years, they only have been sending letters to each other to keep the communication between them, but it was only that. She didn’t like phone calls or anything that involved her talking. He was okay with that, as long as they never stopped communicating. But he missed her. He missed hearing her laugh and see her smile with him. At the moment, she was the only thing that gave him hope.

“How’s mom?” He broke the silence between them.

“Same old, same old.” She sighed. “Going crazy about me coming back, though.”

He chuckled. “Well, she’s not wrong.”

“You’re the one who keeps putting these ideas on her head.” She teased, smiling.

“I’m not wrong either!” He exclaimed, laughing. “Gotham is a dangerous town.”

“Yeah, but as long as I have you, I’ll be safe.”

Jim smiled as he pulled over the outside of his apartment. He carried Agatha’s suitcase and walked her home. He showed her the place, his bedroom, the living room, kitchen and when he showed the bedroom, she smiled. He had bought a bed just for her. She knew it was his idea because the vintage style of the bed and the wallpaper screamed her name.

Agatha felt her heart warm up and looked at him, smiling. “I like the wallpaper. Thanks, Jimbo.”

He put an arm around her shoulders once more and smiled, a genuine smile. “I’m glad you’re here, Peanut.”

The morning went by quickly, and the girl managed to unpack her stuff and tidy up her room. It was past midday when she lied on her bed, sighing. Closing her eyes, she let her mind wander off to her mother. Agatha remembered how she said that town was dangerous to a girl like her. She remembered the criminals she had seen at the GCDP and how they seemed scary. Jim had told her about how some of them tried to kill him and just the thought of it made her shiver.

She, then, remembered Victor, the man who tried to talk to her. She remembered his dark eyes constantly staring into hers, his slick smile, the way he spoke to her. There was something about him that captivated her, now that she thought about it. She couldn’t figure it out what it was.

And with him in her mind, she drifted into a slumber.

…

Agatha woke up a horrible thirst on the back of her throat once she woke up. The room was now cold and she shivered with the wind that came from the open window. She looked outside and she didn’t see the sun that had peeked away from the clouds when she had laid down on her bed. The sky was cloudy, and grey. Quickly she got up and closed the window, pulling a sweater over her head right after; she walked to the living room, expecting to her brother to be home already, but there was no sign of him. But she noticed there was something wrong with the place. She noticed her white sweater on the back of one of the armchairs in the living room. She thought it was weird the sweater was in the living room, because she remembered separating it to put it in the washing machine. She had a clear memory of her putting it right on her desk.

Another shiver ran through her body, and she noticed the living room window open. Quickly, she closed it and got back to her room. Picking some of her pajamas, she decided to take a bath. Just the thought of laying in the bathtub for hours and then cover herself in moisturizer made her sigh. And it was exactly what she did.

Once she was in the tub, with the bathroom door closed, Victor came out of his hiding spot. It wasn’t like he was planning to stalk her, it just happened. He just couldn’t get that girl out of his mind. The way she acted shy and quiet made him want get to know her. There was probably a reason why she was so closed like that. And it wasn’t like he was going to kidnap her and force her to talk. He’d have to give baby steps. Manipulate her into trusting him. That could work. If she wasn’t too hardheaded like her brother.

Sighing, he walked to the back door and took a last look at the place again. With the certain he would see Agatha again, Victor Zsasz left their apartment.

…

“I see you’re a little nervous,” Isabella, the librarian commented when saw Agatha’s leg bouncing.

The girl got up early that morning, afraid she’d be late for her job interview. She skipped breakfast, afraid she’d have to go the bathroom and be late for her job interview. She left the apartment half an hour earlier, even though the library was only five blocks away. She was nervous and anxious about the interview and the fact her brother didn’t go back home last night.

“Sorry.” The girl laughed, nervously.

“Oh, that’s okay.” The blonde woman smiled. “Because you’re hired.”

Agatha’s heart dropped. “Really?” She smiled.

“Yes!” The older girl stood up from her seat, guiding her to the exit. “You start tomorrow.”

“Thank you!” She stood up and started following Isabella, smiling. “You won’t regret it, I promise you.”

She left the place with a big smile on her face and almost ran home. She had a great feeling about her future and everything seemed going according to plan. She felt like nothing could ruin her day from now on.

Except...

When cutting through an alley, Agatha didn't know how to react when a dirty homeless guy demanded her purse. Her legs started to shake and she almost passed out. Cold sweat started to stream down the back of her neck and her heart accelerated like crazy.

"Are you deaf?!" The man exclaimed, taking a knife out of his pocket.

"I- I-" She stuttered.

He approached her and she backed away, her back hitting the wall. She wanted to scream, but she couldn't even take the necessary breath to do it. It wasn't until the man was almost all over her, that his body collapsed into the ground. On the back of his head, a huge bloody hole made Agatha gag. Bringing her hand to her mouth, she tried to avoid puking when looking for the person who saved her life. She didn't hear a gunshot, which made her think the person was using a silencer. Or maybe she was just too nervous to listen to anything besides her own heartbeat. And then, she saw him.

On the other entrance of the alley, with a wicked smirk on his face, Victor Zsasz raised a hand to her. She saw he was wearing similar clothes to the day before, except his holster was not hidden by a jacket.

The girl felt a chill on her spine and turned away from him, running to safety.

Once she was home, she slammed the door to her apartment and sighed, as she locked it. She wanted to cry, but her brother’s voice interrupted her even before she could start.

“Everything okay?” Jim asked with a mug of coffee on his hand.

Agatha looked at him and sighed. She knew if she told him she was almost mugged and just had witnessed a murder, he would never let her alone again. He’d want to take her to her work, he’d never let her set her feet outside that apartment on her own again. Plus, he’d wanted to get the police involved in the murder and she’d have to tell them that she saw him.

“Yeah.” She lied, trying to smile. “I got the job.”

James put down his mug, with a surprised look on his face and walked towards her. “Congratulations!” He said, while hugging her.

The girl didn’t hug him back, which made the former detective frown.

“Are you okay?” He asked, letting her go. “You’re shaking...”

She hesitated. “I was just really nervous…”

“Hey, it’s over now.” He smiled at her, putting his hands on her shoulder. “You got the job.”

The girl gave him a smile, but it only lasted a second. “You didn’t come home last night...”

“Oh, yeah.” He adjusted his posture. “I spent the night at Valerie’s.”

Agatha frowned. “Valerie?”

“Valerie Vale.” He explained. “The journalist.”

“Oh… Okay.” She breathed out.

“Actually, I was just going to meet her for breakfast.” Jim walked towards the coat hooks and grabbed his jacket.

His sister raised her eyebrows. “So is _that_ serious?”

He shrugged, feeling a little embarrassed. Agatha was her little sister after all and the last thing he wanted, was to think that she knew everything about his sex life. Sighing, he left a kiss on her forehead, even though he knew she didn’t like when he did that, and opened the front door.

“I have to go.” He said, leaving the apartment.

The girl chuckled and followed him. “Wait, Jim!” She waited for him to turn around and look at her. When she spoke, her voice was shaking. “Please come home tonight. I’ll make dinner.”

That was the moment Jim knew something was wrong. He may have lived far from her for a while, but he knew his sister. He knew that shake on her voice and the way she held her hands together. But he decided to keep it quiet and made a mental note on his head to ask her about it later. He then, nodded, giving her a sincere smile and turned around to leave.

When Agatha closed the door, she tried her best to not break down. But the image of the dead man on her feet wouldn’t leave her mind. Tears started to run down her face and she leaned on the door, sliding down to the floor; she tried to fight the panic on her chest when she saw little drops of blood on her white blouse. Running to the bathroom and tearing her clothes off her body, she turned the shower on and entered it.

The girl felt an instant relief once the water started to get warm.

“Everything is fine.” She told herself. “You’re safe now.”


	2. book worm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is for Trish. I hope you feel better. I love you.

“Valerie broke up with me.”

It was the first thing Jim said when he entered home in the morning. He had already called Agatha in the night before, telling her he wouldn’t make it to dinner. She was already up when he came home.

Jim decided not to tell her about how Jervis Tech had shot his –now ex-girlfriend in front of his ex-fiancé. It would scare her and it'd make her want to leave. Jim enjoyed having her presence around; they weren't very close in the past and that was a thing he could change with them living together. If she let him in, of course.

"Oh." It was all she could say. "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry I didn't make it to dinner," He said, sitting down on the table. Agatha had made him breakfast because she knew he'd come home with an empty stomach in the morning. "It just-"

"It's okay." Agatha faked a smile. "I'm not mad."

It was true, the girl wasn't mad at her brother. After some time alone at the apartment, she realized that she had to grow up. Even though she had seen a man getting murdered, it was Gotham after all. Crime was in every corner. And she couldn't live in fear if she wanted to stay in that city.

"What do you think about having lunch with me, then?" She asked, bringing a cup of tea to her lips. "There's this diner just across the street from work..."

Jim looked at her and smirked, agreeing to her invitation. It would be an opportunity to ask her about the day before. He was suspicious about her coming home scared.

An hour after breakfast, Agatha was already at work, listening to her boss, Isabella, and learning the basic things about the library. She learned how the organization of the books worked, how to register a new person, and other important things.

The young girl was organizing some books on their shelves when she heard a familiar voice coming from behind her. It wasn't directed towards her, the person who was talking was in a pleasant conversation with Isabela, but Agatha couldn't shake the fact that she knew that voice from somewhere.

"Agatha?" Isabella called her, from the balcony.

The girl came out of the corridor she was and went to the encounter with her boss. She didn't see him right away, only when she was getting close to the older woman. When she finally set eyes on Victor Zsasz, it felt like everything was in slow motion. Her heart dropped and started beating like crazy.

"Can you register this man, please?" Isabella asked. “He showed very interest in our library.”

Agatha swallowed hard, watching her boss smile to the bald man, who smirked back at her. The younger girl tried to play it cool and gave them a fake smile.

“Sure,” She replied. “This way.”

She led Victor to the balcony where the computer was. His eyes had a certain malice on them, and she could feel it in the air. As she asked the questions needed to register him, she felt his eyes all over her, making her uncomfortable.

“You look familiar,” He suddenly said, interrupting her. “Do I know you from somewhere?”

Agatha blinked at the hitman. He _had_ to be joking. He had just seen her on the day before, saved her life and now decided to play games. She wasn’t that stupid, she knew what he was doing. She just didn’t know why.

“Um, you sat next to me at the GCPD a few days ago,” She replied. “You even tried to talk to me.”

Zsasz was amused. He could finally hear her voice. He could finally hear her speak more than two words. Giving her a slick half smile, he chuckled. “Did I?”

His voice was raspy and low, like if he was trying to tease her. Agatha decided to ignore that and after finishing his register, she told him he could look for a book.

“Oh, but I already did,” He said, putting a book on the counter. The girl read the title and raised her eyebrows, wanting to laugh. She knew she wasn’t supposed to judge people by the choice of books, so she tried to keep a neutral face. Victor, however, read her expression before she tried to hide it. “What?”

She looked up at him from the computer, confused. “Huh?”

“You’re judging me.”

“What? No!” The girl frowned.

“Your face told me the opposite.”

Agatha blinked at him again, speechless. “Um...”

He raised his eyebrows, waiting for her response.

“It just-” She sighed. “When I saw you for the first time, I never thought you’d have interest in this kind of books.”

Victor narrowed his eyes at her. “So you were judging me even before getting to know me?”

She swallowed hard. “Yes,” A short pause echoed in the air. “Sorry.”

Giving him the book, she tried not to look in his eyes. He took the book, smirking at her. “Have you read this?”

“Yes, as a child.” She looked at him again.

He nodded. “And the movie? Seen it?”

“No.”

Victor raised his eyebrows again. “No?”

“I… Only read the books,” She explained. “The movies usually butcher the stories.”

A moment of silence followed the conversation, as Zsasz sighed.

“You’ve never seen _Charlie and the Chocolate Factory_ and you’re judging me?” He turned to leave, shaking his head. “Babydoll, you need to step outta that bubble.”

She frowned, confused. Victor stopped at the door and turned around to face her again.

“Oh, and maybe you shouldn’t take that alley again,” He said. “These surroundings are a little dangerous.”

Agatha’s stomach dropped as she watched the man leave.

 

…

 

"Can I ask you something?" Jim asked as he finished his meal.

The diner was full and Agatha had been scowling at people the entire lunch time. She didn't like crowded spaces, it made her uncomfortable.

"Sure," She replied, finishing her water.

"Yesterday, when you got back from the job interview..." He paused to wipe his mouth with a napkin. "You looked very shaken. Did something happened?"

The girl looked at him thinking of a lie to tell her brother.

"I was just nervous." She shrugged.

Jim nodded, in silence. "You know you're a terrible liar, right? And I’m a detective."

Agatha stared at him for a while and then sighed. "I was... almost mugged on my way back."

"I knew it." He leaned on the back of the seat. "Why'd lie to me?"

The girl sighed and looked at the window, beside them. "I knew you were gonna try to protect me."

He frowned at her, confused. "Of course I would. You're my little sister, it's my job to protect you."

She looked at him and smirked, but it faded out. "That's the problem."

"What do you mean?

"Mom was suffocating me," She explained. "After my dad left, I guess she was feeling lonely and didn't want to let me go. At first, I had pity for her, which is why..." She sighed. "Which is why I finished college at home. But then, she started to get obsessed with me. I couldn't leave the house to borrow a book from the library. I needed to get out, I needed to breathe."

"Agatha-"

"I'm 21 years old, Jim!" She interrupted him. "I feel like I'm 15, I need to grow up. There are some things I have to go through on my own."

Jim went quiet and the table had a tension in the air for a moment. Both siblings were in silence for a moment before Agatha spoke.

"And don't be a hypocrite." She picked up her wallet to pay her bill. "I know you lied about what happened yesterday."

The detective frowned at her and opened his mouth to protest but she interrupted him before he even spoke.

"It's all over the papers, Jim. _'Journalist Valerie Vale shot during hostage situation. Sources say former detective Jim Gordon was involved.'_ "

Jim didn’t know what to say. He had forgotten how his sister could be curious sometimes. He couldn't hide the truth from her or from himself.

“I’m sorry.” He sighed, looking at her eyes. “I was just trying to protect you.”

“There’s nothing wrong with that, Jimbo.” She smiled at him, but with sad eyes. “Just don’t suffocate me, please.”

He gave her a sad smile. “I love you.”

“I know.” Agatha laughed.

 

...

 

"You were right."

The voice echoed through the small hall and Agatha got startled, dropping some books she was filing. Looking behind her, she saw Victor, eyes fixed on her. The book he had borrowed two days ago was in his hands.

"What?" The girl let out a whisper as she started to collect the books from the floor.

"The book is so much better." The man started approaching her. "I don't know why I never read it before.

"Oh." She stood up, not really paying attention to what he said. "You can return the book on that slot outside the building-"

"I want more," Victor interrupted Agatha watching as she swallowed hard and backed away a little.

"What?" Her voice trembled.

"I'm sure you have more of these." He replied. "Books that are better than the movies."

The girl let a tiny sigh of relief. "Oh. Yeah, we do. I'm kinda busy now, but Isabella-"

"I want _your_ suggestions." The hitman interrupted her once again.

She blinked at him. “O-okay”

Putting the books she was organizing back on the small cart, she beckoned for him to followed her. “Are you looking for romance, drama, action…?”

“Anything.”

The girl shrugged as she arrived in one of the small corridors and looking for a book on the shelves. Victor watched her as her eyes would travel through the titles of the books; the way half of her hair was always secured with a hair clip behind her head, her fringe always tucked behind her ears made him wonder what she looked like with the locks free.

Blinking a few times, the hitman readjusted his posture. He was here for the book, not for her; he was being honest earlier, he really liked the book and wanted to read more. Did she intrigue him? Yes. Did he want to know more about her? Badly. But it wasn’t the time. And he couldn’t exactly stalk her. If her brother saw only a shadow of Victor behind her, he’d never the hitman alone again. Not that he was afraid of Jim Gordon, it would just simply annoy him if the detective were glued to his back, trying to protect his little sister.

“Here it is.” Agatha pulled him out of his thoughts. “Starting with the basics.”

She handed the book to Victor and he held it, reading the title. _Pride and Prejudice._

“I've… Never watched this movie.” He said, giving the book back.

“Good.” She grabbed the book and started walking to the reception, to register the borrowing. He followed her. “Then, you never will after you read it.”

Victor looked at her, astonished, as she gave him a smile. A genuine smile. Not like the one she gave Gordon at the GCPD when he first saw her.

“You have one week...” Agatha said as she gave the book back to him. “Mr. Zsasz.”

The girl watched him leave without saying a word. Once he was finally gone, she sighed and turned around to go back at her doings.

“Are you flirting with the customers, Agatha?” Isabella said as Agatha was filing books again. Her boss gave her a smug. The girl looked at her confused.

"Flirting?" She asked with eyebrows furrowed.

“’I want _your_ suggestions’.” Isabella made a bad impression of the hitman. "And Pride and Prejudice? Could you be more cliche?"

The younger girl stared at her boss for a second, blinking a couple of times, it hit her.

"Oh, god, no!" She exclaimed, watching Isabela's face change to a humorous smile. "I-I didn't mean to- I mean-"

Laughing, the older woman approached her with a smile on her face. "I was messing with you. You should've seen your face."

Agatha blinked, feeling the heat on her cheeks and excused herself to get back to work.

"You know," Isabela said to her, at the end of the day, when they were closing the library. "You should really go out more. Date a little."

The younger girl looked confused at her. "Excuse me?"

Isabella looked up at her, and studied her expression. Her years of working in an environment that provided so much knowledge, she read enough books to learn how to read people's expressions. The librarian knew, in the moment she looked at Agatha's face, that she had touched an open wound. Maybe the girl had a bad experience with an ex, but she sensed it was something more.

“Just saying.” The librarian shrugged.

Agatha didn’t want to get mad at her boss, but it was impossible. The whole week she had been… _weird_. It seemed she was happier, and more excited than before. Deciding to ignore Isabella's comment, she shrugged it off, grabbing her coat from behind the counter. Her boss was already in the back of the library when the younger girl heard a soft knock on the glass of the door. Frowning, she wondered who would want to borrow a book at 8pm.

“Sorry, we just closed,” She said, after opening just to peek at the person outside.

“Actually-” He started but was cut off by Isabella.

“Let him in!” She walked towards them.

Agatha obeyed, opening the door for the man to come in.

“This is my boyfriend,” Her boss said, smiling as the man walked to her side.

“Oh,” The younger girl replied a little confused. Isabela never mentioned a boyfriend. Not that they were best friends, but she thought the librarian would’ve at least mentioned at the few small talks they had.

“Hello,” He said. “I’m Edward Nygma.”

Agatha froze her action when heard his name. Her hands started to shake and throat was immediately dry, making her swallow hard and lick her lips as a nervous sign.

_Edward Nygma as in the man who framed my brother for murder?_

“Agatha,” She replied in a small voice and shook his hand, forcing herself to smile. Hoping he didn’t notice her hand trembling, she grabbed her purse and redirected to Isabella. “I didn’t know you had a boyfriend.”

“Oh, she never mentioned me?” He laughed, putting an arm around the blonde’s shoulder.

Isabella chuckled and slightly slapped his chest. “Silly, we’ve been together for a week only.”

Agatha made herself laugh, but it came out more as a nervous laugh than a normal one. “Um, I should go and… Feed my brother.”

Isabella frowned. “You never said you had a brother.”

“Really?” The brunette replied, nervously reaching for the door behind her. “Weird, huh?” She scoffed. “See you tomorrow!”

Without giving the couple a change to reply, she left the library in a hurry, walking fast by the streets. Trying to breathe, she clutched her purse closer to her body. She needed to warn her. Isabella was dating a murderer. A criminal. Even worse, an insane criminal.

Taking a deep breath, Agatha started to slow her walking and came to a stop. She felt like having a panic attack, but there was no time for such a thing. It was dark and cold, and she knew if she stopped walking, something would happen. It was Gotham, after all.

“Are you okay?” A low, raspy voice made her jump and she turned around quickly.

Victor Zsasz smirked at her, chuckling at her reaction.

“You!” She exclaimed.

“I thought I told you to not take this shortcut again?” He spoke again, pointing to the alley where Agatha was standing in front of.

The girl looked confused at him, and breathed out, feeling the panic sneak into her chest again. “I wasn’t...” She trailed off and then she realized. “Were you following me?!”

“Yes,” The answer was quick and short, and he said it like he was ordering a meal at a fast food drive-thru. She did not expect honesty. A moment of silence felt heavy in the air until she spoke.

“Well… Don’t do that anymore.” She tried to look like she wasn’t terrified. “It’s creepy.”

“Okay.” He shrugged and waited for her to speak again.

Okay, yes, Victor was following her. Big deal. He used to do that with all the people he’d take an interest on. To be honest, it was just a normal day for him. After running some errands for his boss, he sat on the bench in front of the library to read the book he borrowed and waited for her to leave work so he could see her getting home safe. That’s what he’s been doing since he learned she was working there. It was normal; every night was the same. She walked fast, despite having short legs and got home as quickly as she could. But this night was different. The way Agatha walked showed that something was bothering her. Was he worried about her? Not until she stopped walking and start breathing heavily. So he, naturally, decided to approach her.

“And don’t think I forgot about what you did the other day!” Agatha continued, making him frown. “You killed a man in front of my eyes!”

“Oh,” He said, remembering the first day he followed her home. “He was going to kill you.”

“You don’t know that.” She argued.

“Yeah, I do. He had a knife in his hand.”

The girl stared at him and he could see her knuckles turning white, while she held the purse tight. “I wouldn’t know, you killed him before I could see it.”

She started to walk away from him, but he followed her, earning a sigh from the girl.

“I’ll walk you home.” It wasn't a question.

Agatha sighed again. “Fine, if it’s that’s what it takes for you to leave me alone.”

Then, there was silence. Just silence between both of them, while they listen to sounds of cat horns, and passed through people walking home, glowing through artificial lights from the streets of Gotham. Victor's eyes danced through them, specially the ones coming in their direction. He didn't know why he had an instinct of protection towards Agatha; all he knew was that he wanted her. Not like the other women we'd been with. Not in a sexual way, not only in a physical way. He wanted her to belong to him. He wanted her to himself.

_I barely know her._

The reminder kept hammering in his twisted mind, but he ignored it. He barley knew many women he’d been with, but this one… He _wanted_ to know her.

Every step they took was a reminder to Agatha. A reminder that she could be walking straight to a trap. All she knew about Victor Zsasz was his horrible taste for movies. She didn't know what he worked with, or how old was he, or the reason why he hadn't a single hair on his face. But, being honest, she had to confess she was curious. He was... Different. In a curious way.

When they were about to turn the corner that lead to Agatha's apartment, Victor stopped walking. The girl didn't notice, until a few feet away from him. Looking behind her, she saw him standing with hands on his pockets, looking at her with a serious expression.

"What?" She asked.

"We're here." He pointed his chin toward the building behind her.

The girl looked behind her, seeing her home in a few meters. The living room lights were on, meaning Jim was already home, probably waiting for her. Looking back at the hitman, she frowned, seeing him smile.

"How do you..." She sighed, finally realizing he'd probably was already there. "You're a creep, you know that?"

He scoffed, walking closer to her. "No woman ever said that directly to me." Stopping in front of her, he forced himself not to caress her soft face. "I want to ask you something."

Agatha frowned, but said nothing.

"Would you go on a date with me?"

It took three full seconds before she understand the question. A million thoughts could have passed through her mind but only one word was clear.

"No," She replied and turned around, expecting him to chase after her, like the others.

"Okay!" Victor said, already expecting the rejection. Agatha, frowned but didn't turn around to look at him. “See you tomorrow, babydoll!”

Sighing, she stopped walking and looked at him. "Please don't call me that."

He smirked at her, amused. "Okay."

Rolling her eyes, the girl turned around for the last time and went home.


	3. the truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The new episode motivated me. Hope you like this one... (i didnt, lol)
> 
> also, thank you for the comments, i know i dont really reply to them right away, but i read them all and they make me really happy :)

"Good morning." Jim Gordon pulled Agatha out of her mind.

The girl had been lost in her thoughts for the past five minutes at the kitchen table. Breakfast was already on the table and she hadn't taken a bite of anything yet. Her mind was on her boss and her new boyfriend and the danger the older woman was. Not to mention that by Nygma going at the library, put Agatha in danger too.

"Um, hi..." She replied, finally taking a swig from her coffee.

Jim frowned, as he sat on the table. It was a habit that they got when Jim used to live her and their mother. They all sat in the table to eat; nobody ate alone.

"You okay?" He asked, putting coffee on a mug.

"Yeah, just..." She sighed. "My boss' new boyfriend..."

"What did he do?" He put the mug down and looked serious at her.

"Nothing!" She looked at up at him. "I promise, nothing happened. He's..." She sighed again. "He is Edward Nygma."

His eyes widened in shock at first, but then he wasn't surprised. Of course with Penguin winning the election he'd do something like that.

"He's out already?" The detective asked, in a monotone voice.

"Yeah."

"Listen, if he tries to do something to you, you tell me, okay?" He commanded with a firm voice.

Agatha sighed. "He won't. Yesterday he barely looked at me."

"Yeah, and I thought he was my friend until he framed me for murder."

There was an excruciating silence between both of them; the girl remembered the days she'd visit her brother in jail, each visit Jim would look worse. The sight of her brother incarcerated broke her heart in a million pieces and made her get so angry to the man who did this to him.

"Okay," She spoke with a soft voice. "I'll let you know."

...

"So..." Agatha said, in that same morning, while Isabela and her would file some books. "You have a boyfriend..."

The older woman sighed with happiness and smiled at her.

"Yes," She said, putting the books aside and looking at Agatha. "Oh, Agatha, I'm in love!"

The girl raised her eyebrows, brushing her fringe away from her face. "Cool." She chuckled. "How long have you known him?"

Isabella blushed and looked at the ground; the younger girl noticed the hesitation in her boss’ body language and cleared her throat.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have asked-”

“No, it’s okay!” The blonde interrupted her. “We met for the first time last week.”

Agatha inhaled and nodded, trying to act cool. “Oh.”

“I know it’s crazy, but...” A sigh escaped her lips, along with a smile. “You know that feeling when you like someone so much that you don’t wanna go anywhere without them? When I see him, I feel like my life finally has a meaning. Whenever I see him… I feel so happy in my heart, it seems I’m going to explode.” She chuckled. “I’d do anything for him, for him to smile.”

The brunette girl was quiet after Isabella spoke; taking a deep breath, she swallowed hard and looked away.

“No,” Agatha’s voice was almost a whisper. “I… I don’t know that feeling.”

Isabella gave her a smirk. “You’re still young.”

The girl sighed and went back to filing the books.

“What about that gentleman that always is looking for you?”

“Victor Zsasz?” Agatha frowned, looking at the woman. “He’s not my type.”

“Oh,” Isabela sounded surprised. “What is your type?”

“The type that leaves me alone.”

The blond woman looked in shock to her.

"I'm just not looking for relationships right now. Or ever."

Muttering the last sentence, Agatha saw her boss looked surprised at her. "Don't say that! You'd be all alone!"

"Yeah, but at least I'll be happy."

Isabella looked at her employee with sadness in her heart. She was so used to being romantic that she forgot not everyone was like her. She suddenly felt the need to hug her and convince her to take the other way but contained herself. It wasn't her life, she couldn't just tell the girl what to do.

So she swallowed her feelings and smiled at Agatha.

...

Not long after the talk she had with Isabela, Agatha sat on the balcony with a book in hands. The morning was particularly calm and pleasant.

Until _they_ arrived.

The sound of the bell echoed the place, telling the girl someone had opened the door. Looking up from her book, she saw a small angry man, with a peculiar hairstyle. She dropped her book and almost fell from the chair.

"Crap," She whispered bending to pick her book up and heard a chuckle. "Sorry."

Behind Oswald Cobblepot, there was Victor Zsasz, smiling at her.

_Of course._

"Are you Isabella?" Penguin asked her, not impressed by her forced smile and concealed fear.

Her brother had told her everything about the Penguin. Since he had to pretend he killed him, to the days when the mob leader helped him to defeat the former mayor of Gotham.

"Isabella is busy now, but what can I help you with?" She replied with her best smile and wondered if she looked creepy.

Oswald smirked at the girl and sighed. "I'm afraid I'm gonna need Isabella's help with this one. So if you could get her, it would be great."

Agatha swallowed hard and nodded, politely excusing herself to get her boss. Deep in her heart, she was glad Penguin didn't want to talk to her.

"I'm busy," Isabela said as she climbed the step stool to put a book on its determined place.

"I know but, um..." The girl took a deep breath. "The mayor wants to talk to you."

The woman looked shocked at her and took a deep breath. "Shit." Letting out a quick breath, she stepped down and nodded to Agatha. "Okay, send him in."

When Agatha got back to the balcony, she sent Penguin to the back, where her boss was and was left alone with Zsasz. He took a look at her and smirked. God, how she hated that smirk.

Now that Agatha wasn't in an adrenaline rush, like the night before, she felt a little intimidated by the man. She watched him, as he approached her and dropped the book he borrowed at the balcony. The sound made her jump startled and swallow.

"Changed your mind about my request?" He said in a dragged out voice, a little raspy.

Agatha recovered her confidence and adjusted her posture, looking into his eyes. "No."

She proceeded to register the return of the book in the computer.

"Figured," He replied, leaning his elbows on the balcony. "I didn't like the book by the way."

The brunette looked at him with eyebrows raised. "Too much romance?"

"No, it's just predictable." The hitman shrugged. "The nice guy gets the nice girl at the end. I was expecting a twist but it never happened."

"It's a classic!" Agatha exclaimed and Victor just shrugged. Rolling her eyes, she sighed.

A moment of silence followed the place, as Zsasz stared at Agatha. The act made her just a little uncomfortable, which was surprising, considering the first time he stared at her like that she felt like she was going to die from awkwardness.

"You want another book." She stated, instead of asking.

"Yes."

Stepping out of behind the balcony, she walked across the library, with the hitman in her heels.

"So you don't like nice stories, that's for sure," she said. "Perhaps a little more violence will cheer you up."

"I don't like cliches." Victor shrugged. "I'm actually a nice guy, I like love stories as long as they're not predictable."

Agatha scoffed. "Right. That's funny coming from a guy who works for the mob."

They came to a stop and the girl started to browse through the shelves.

"I don't know what you're talking about," The hitman lied. He didn't care that people knew about his job, he knew he wasn't popular compared to the Penguin, but when people recognize him on the streets it made him feel good. The problem was, he didn't know why he cared that she knew. "I'm just the mayor's bodyguard."

"And the mayor is a mobster." She completed and looked at him. "Gotham may have changed since I left, but my brother kept me informed."

She stood on the tip of her toes to grab a book from a higher shelf. "And I may not know you or what you actually do, Victor Zsasz, but I already know you're bad news."

The girl pushed the book onto his chest and he smirked at her, without taking a look at the title.

"If only there was a way of getting to know me," He said, in a sarcastic tone.

Agatha rolled her eyes and pushed past him, walking toward the balcony again. "The answer is still the same. I am not going to go out with you."

"Never say never, babydoll."

She stopped walking and looked at him. "I told you not to call me that."

Victor gave her one of his half smirks and walked slowly towards her. Agatha felt the heat rise to her cheeks and backed off a little, but her back touched a bookshelf and suddenly she was stuck between him and the books.

"Sorry," The man said softly. "I just can't help it."

He raised his hand to touch her face but stopped mid-act when she gasped softly, the look in her face a little scared, a little angry.

"Don't. Touch. Me." She said between teeth and Victor dropped his hand beside him. "Why are you so interested in me?"

He smiled. "You're the only one that said no."

_Liar._

The girl looked at him, dead in the eye and pushed him off of her, to go back to the balcony. When she got there, Victor right behind her, Penguin was waiting for his 'bodyguard' with a book in hands and an impatient look on his face.

"Are you done?" He asked the man behind her.

Before Victor could open his mouth, Agatha spoke first and smiled at the mayor.

"Sorry, sir." She hushed to behind the balcony and started registering the borrowing. "It took me a while to find the book."

Oswald observed her as she typed as fast as she could. When she was registering the second book, he spoke.

"What the 'G' stands for?"

The girl looked up at him, confused. "Huh?"

The mayor pointed at the name tag that was pinned in her blouse.

_Agatha G._

She looked at Victor in hope of some help, but he had his back turned to them, muttering something on the phone.

"Oh, um..." She hesitated. "It's... Gordon."

He raised his eyebrows. "You're a Gordon?"

".....yes."

Before the mayor could open his mouth again, the hitman interrupted both of them.

"Boss, something came up."

Penguin looked at Zsasz with an angry, almost comic way. "Can it wait?"

"It's about Gilzean."

The mayor's expression went from annoyed to serious. He suddenly grabbed his book from the counter and smiled at Agatha.

"Thank you, dear," He said and left in a hurry leaving Victor to pick his book up and wink at her.

After they left, the girl rushed to the back of the library to meet Isabella.

The woman was with a shocked look on her face, her back leaned to a wall; a hand was touching her neck and she was at the verge of crying. Agatha wanted to ask was happened between her and the mayor but she didn't know how.

"W-what was all that about?" The girl asked, without approaching her boss.

Isabela got startled at the sound of the younger girl’s voice and immediately got herself together. Adjusting, her hair and making sure her dress was straight, she smiled.

“The mayor just wanted a book,” She replied, going back to her duty.

“Oh,” Agatha replied. “I thought it was something serious...”

“Don’t worry.”

Her boss didn’t look at her when the words came out of her mouth; her voice cracking and trembling. The young girl immediately knew something was wrong. Hesitant, though, she turned around to leave but the blonde woman interrupted her.

“I heard you with him.”

Agatha turned to see Isabela with her usual smile and playful way.

“The mayor?” The brunette frowned in confusion.

Her boss rolled her eyes and sighed. “The bodyguard.”

“Oh. Yeah, he’s a regular-”

“Why didn’t you accept it?” She interrupted the girl. Agatha was surprised to learn her boss was starting to snoop into another’s business.

“I-I told you I’m not looking for relationships right now.”

Isabella let another stressed sigh. “You don’t have to marry him, Agatha. Just one date. Maybe you’ll learn he’s not even that bad.”

The girl was suddenly surprised with the tone her boss had used. She felt a horrible feeling burning in her chest, and spreading like it was fire. _Anger._ She didn’t like the feeling. It made difficult for her to control her other emotions, so she swallowed the feeling and smiled at her.

“I’ll think about it.”

...

In that same day, Agatha was organizing some newspapers, down at one of the newspaper hall, and came across to a recent edition.

"Disaster at the club," She read the title out loud and saw the date. It was from the day she had met Victor Zsasz at the GCPD.

The picture from the newspaper showed the mayor in a stage with a shocked expression on his face, looking at what it seemed like a man kneeling on the floor and another one pointing a gun to the last one's head. Agatha squinted her eyes to look better at the picture. It was a little blurry, and the guy with a gun on hands had his back turned to the camera. Her heart dropped when she realized who he was and started to read the article.

_Guests were shocked at the sight of their new mayor in front of a gun pointed but his –now former– bodyguard. Sources said Butch Gilzean was the leader of the Red Hood gang, that committed several crimes, including an attempt of murdering Oswald Cobblepot._

Agatha recognized the name that came out of Victor’s mouth, just a few hours ago. Her eyes danced through the paper, giving the article a quick read, until something caught her attention.

_One of those who saved the mayor from death was Victor Zsasz, former hitman for the Falcones; today, working for the mayor._

Agatha didn't know what to feel. It wasn't like she liked Victor, the point was that she didn't. Which would make easier for her to avoid him. She was scared, though. She knew he was trouble, she just didn't imagine it was that big of a trouble.

But then a thought crossed her mind. If he was already known as a ‘former’ hitman, maybe there were more articles or news about him.

By the end of the day, Agatha had collected 17 articles about Victor Zsasz. One in particular caught her attention. It was from when he was arrested and taken to Arkham Asylum, _ten years ago_. She didn’t even imagine he was that crazy. Apparently, he was released after two months in. That was the part that made her skin crawl. How was that possible he was so dangerous he had to go Arkham and still walk free?

_'Bodyguard', right?_

Later, when she was leaving the library, she saw him at the same place he was on the night before. Making eye contact with him, she didn't blink when he stood up and crossed the street without even looking both ways. The girl rolled her eyes, sighing and kept walking.

"Stressful day, pumpkin?" She heard his dragged voice behind her.

"Leave me alone," Agatha replied, without even turning around to face him.

Victor chuckled behind her and they walked in silence for a while. Not a word came out of his or her mouth. The girl walked in front of him, trying not to think about what would happen if he pulled a gun right behind her. Only when they were about two blocks away from her home, Agatha spoke, stopping in her place and turning around to face him.

“Why do you want to go out with me? And I want the truth this time.”

The hitman's smile was sleek and he tilted his head; for the first time since learning about his past, fear rushed through the girl's heart, making it beat quicker than before.

“Because I want to play.”

The girl frowned in confusion, which made him remind of her brother. Slowly walking towards her, he set his hands free from his pocket and smiled.

“I can’t help it,” He spoke with a dragged voice. “I see you and I have to play with you. You’re so innocent and _pure_ and I just have to _destroy_ you.”

The man watched as Agatha’s semblance change from annoyed to worried and scared. Swallowing hard, she looked over her shoulder, thinking about possible escape routes. There were still one block and a half to get home and even if she could run faster than him, she’d never get her keys in time to lock herself in her place. She thought about yelling, but in Gotham, you never know when someone will actually help you. Agatha felt her chest tighten. She thought about her brother and how worried he’d be if Victor decided to kill her tonight. She thought about her boss and how the woman would wait for her in the morning; suddenly the air started to escape her lungs. She could feel it coming.

But it never hit her. Instead of the panic attack, she felt a rush of adrenaline through her body.

“Go play with someone else.” She heard the sound of own voice. “I’m not available.”

Turning around and feeling her heart pound inside her chest, she walked away from him, leaving him surprised. She caught him off guard, while he was confident and being just one third of who he really was. Victor left out a surprised chuckle and watched as she went away from him.

"Okay, fine!" The man exclaimed walking behind her, faster than before to catch up with her. "I'll leave you alone with just one condition."

Agatha sighed and closed her eyes, avoid to look at him. "What?"

"You just have to say two words."

The girl frowned and looked at him, smirking at her.

" _'Fuck off'_ ," The playful sound in his voice made her confused.

"What?!"

"You just have to tell me to fuck off." He chuckled. "I swear, if you do this, I'll even stop going to the library."

Agatha paused, looking at Victor and actually debating with herself, wondering if he was really serious.

"Oh, my god." She breathed and turned around, walking home again.

"I knew it!" He chased after her. "You don’t curse."

She sighed, tired of everything. Tired of him. While he teased her, she tried to pretend he wasn’t really there.

“You’re so innocent you don’t even curse.” He laughed, walking behind her again.

“Let’s just call it a day, okay?” The girl said, still walking to her apartment. “I’d say goodbye, but I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Victor decided to ignore the sarcasm and smiled as he watched her walk away.

“Yeah, see you tomorrow, Pumpkin.”


	4. the party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor being an ass. Siblings cute moments :') (Jim really needed a hug)

"There's a party I have to go," Zsasz said behind Agatha, making her drop the books she was filing.

After that night, Victor hadn't showed up at the library for two days. Those were the most pleasant days for Agatha, but also the most terrifying. The fear of the hitman entering her apartment and destroying her was unbearable. After the adrenaline rush, she regretted saying those things to him. She didn't know why she got all brave and confident around him and when she was alone, she wasn't.

"Since you didn't tell me to fuck off, I thought I should ask you to go with me," He continued, watching as she put herself back together and try to ignore him.

"I don't do parties," The girl replied, not looking at him.

"Oh, don't worry, it's not one of those crazy parties." He smiled. "It's an engagement party. You can wear a fancy, sexy dress, it's a big one."

Agatha looked at him, dead in the eye. "What makes you think I'm actually going with you?"

"You didn't tell me-"

She didn't let him finish his sentence and cut him off, crossing her arms.

"You don't tell someone you want to kill them and then expect them to go out with you. Or to like you."

The hitman scoffed at her. "You don't have to kill someone to destroy them."

Agatha's mouth slightly fell open. Was he for real?

"And that's so reassuring, wow," She said sarcastically and walked away from him, some books still in hand. She realized it was better if she kept doing her job even while he was still there, bugging her.

"Listen, I'm not gonna kill you." He followed her.

"Why, because no one payed you yet?"

Victor came to a stop; the girl, realizing what she had said, stopped walking and looked at him.

_Maybe I shouldn't piss him off that much._

The man looked at her with dark eyes, and frowned brows.

Agatha never saw him look at her like that. Not even when he shot that homeless guy in front of her. It was like he was offended by what she said; at the end, Victor was disappointed she knew. He thought maybe he could have more fun with her if she didn't know what he was.

"I'm just trying to be polite," He replied with a different voice than before. It sounded more human this time.

The girl felt guilty. She didn't know why he changed his posture, or why he started talking in a different way. But she could tell that he was somehow touched by what she said.

"Sorry," She let out, trying to look at his eyes. "I'll think about it."

A narrow smile formed on his face and then she knew he was back to normal. He leaned closer to her, making the girl lose her breath as he barely pressed the side of his face to hers. His voice raspy and low send shivers to her skin as he whispered in her ear.

"You should wear a very sexy dress so I can see more than just your neck."

And that was it took. Agatha acted so fast that even she was surprised with herself. The palm of her hand met Victor's face, making an echoing slapping sound. His skin was immediately red and he touched his cheek, looking surprised at her. The same look was on her face, as she stared at what she had done. Opening her mouth to apologize, the girl couldn't find the right words. The hitman broke the moment with a chuckle and a smile that showed his teeth.

"Didn't know you had it in you, Pumpkin," He said, dropping his hand beside him, revealing the hand shaped bruise on his face.

Many women rejected him and he was used to that. He was used with the curses, the slaps on his face, the rudeness, but he _never_ expected something like that from Agatha. Which is why he was genuinely surprised. And he guessed she was too, because she gasped and looked scared at him. She opened her mouth, he guessed to apologize but the words never came out. Turning around to leave, the girl walked away quietly, without saying a word to him. Victor watched as the skirt she was wearing moved along with her steps. He liked it. The shorter skirt looked better than the long one. And he didn’t mind the pantyhose too. The only thing that bugged him was her shirts. Blouses, turtlenecks, long sleeves shirts that covered her entire torso. He wasn't a pervert. He didn't want to see her naked or anything (yet). He just wanted to see her free from the layers of clothes that seemed to be keeping her stuck.

He took one step to follow her as she turned a corner on the labyrinth of books, but stopped when heard the girl speak.

"Jim!" She exclaimed, raising her eyebrows in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

Taking a look behind her, she didn't see Victor anymore. Almost letting a sigh of relief out, she looked at her brother again.

"Thought I could visit my little sister at work." He smiled and held an arm open for her to hug him.

"That's nice." Agatha snuggled up by her brother's torso. "I mean, after your trip with Jervis Tetch, I think you owe me."

Rolling his eyes, the older Gordon laughed and watched her sister look behind her again. He frowned, putting his hand on the pocket of his coat.

"What's wrong?"

"Um, nothing." Agatha laughed awkwardly.

Jim tilted his head and looked serious at her. "Agatha-"

"There's a guy!" The girl exclaimed, interrupting him. She closed her eyes and sighed. "He wants me to go out with him."

The older Gordon raised his eyebrows and slightly opened his mouth. Agatha just rolled her eyes and shook her head. She was used to the reaction. Every time she'd talk about a guy, her mother and Jim would act like he was a potential boyfriend. But the detective side of Jim spoke louder.

"Is he... Stalking you?" He asked.

The girl considered to tell Jim to scare Victor off. Just the thought of having the assassin away from her made her feel a lot lighter. He had all the qualities to be stalker. But her mouth was not in sync with her mind.

“No,” She heard the word come out of her mouth. “He’s...” She cleared her throat. "He just asked me out."

"That's it?" He frowned at her.

"Yeah." She crossed her arms, hoping she'd sound convincing.

"Well, why don't you give him a chance?"

_Because he's a murderer._

"You know what?" She smiled, trying not to look irritated. "I'll think about it."

"Good." He gave her one of his half smiles and she nodded.

An awkward silence followed up as Agatha wondered why the fuck she couldn't just tell her brother she needed help with Victor. Maybe Jim could keep him away from her? Or maybe her brother would never let her leave the house again.

_Yeah, probably keep it quiet._

"Oh!" Jim exclaimed. "What about Nygma? Did he come here again?"

The girl shook her head. "No, not anymore."

"He better."

She tilted her head to the side and looked annoyed at him. "Jim!"

"What?! The guy almost got me killed, Agatha!"

"Maybe he really changed..."

The older Gordon scoffed at her. "He didn't even make six months in Arkham."

"True." She shrugged.

"But if he tries any-"

"Anything suspicious, I'll let you know," She completed the sentence. "But so you know, I didn't take this job to be your scapegoat."

Jim laughed and Agatha smiled. It was nice to see her brother have a genuine laugh. She could see when he was faking smiles and laughs, not because she was a master of body language, but simply because she knew him. She knew him better than she knew herself. Seeing him smile like that brought happy memories of when they were just kids. Well, Jim was always ten years older, but they were always together, laughing and playing.

Even after the incident.

"Thought you should know." Jim interrupted her memories. "I'm back to the GCPD."

Agatha looked surprised at him and then smiled, sighing. "Finally."

She approached him and gave him a hug, standing at the tip of her toes. The act surprised Jim and he could tell she was surprised too. He knew Agatha wasn't one for human touch, she didn’t like touching or hugging and he knew it was his fault, so he really appreciated when she hugged him.

“I’m happy for you," She whispered into his ear, and he knew she was being honest.

Knowing these moments were rare, Jim hugged her back, closing his eyes and burying his face in her hair. Oh, how he missed being hugged with so much honesty and love.

“Well, go to work, then!” She let him go and laughed. “Go catch some bad guys, protect Gotham City, or whatever you do.”

He laughed and nodded at her. After saying their goodbyes, Agatha didn’t find Victor anymore. She wasn’t surprised he left at the small sign of her brother. Walking back to the shelves, she kept doing her job.

…

 

“A librarians convention?” Agatha repeated, frowning. “I didn’t know that was a thing.”

“Well, it is.” Isabella laughed. “I’ll be leaving next Friday, so you can take the weekend off.”

“I can take care of the library, if you want.” The girl shrugged and her boss raised her eyes off the paper she was reading, her schedule. Agatha had a small smile on her face, her shoulders slightly shrunken.

“You’re just an assistant,” Isabella said, frowning.

“I know, but...” Agatha sighed. “I don’t know what to do when I’m not working. I have no friends, besides you and my brother, there’s nothing for me in Gotham.”

Her boss looked astonished at the girl. “Then go visit your mother.” She replied, shrugging. “Or go to that party Mr. Zsasz invited you, date a little.”

The brunette looked down, cheeks flushed at the thought of Isabella listening to her conversations with Victor Zsasz.

“You’re not your work, Agatha,” The blonde’s tone and posture changed.

The girl nodded and sighed. “Okay, fine. _Maybe_ I’ll go that party.”

Isabella didn’t smile and returned her eyes to the paper. Agatha thought it was weird and stood up from the chair with the intention of leaving her boss’ room.

“You knew, didn’t you?” She heard Isabella’s voice coming from behind her. It was lower and darker than usually was. Turning around confused, Agatha frowned at her boss and opened her mouth to ask her, but the older woman spoke before she could talk. “About Edward. You knew he’s a former criminal.”

The younger girl took a deep breath, like if she was caught in a lie. “Well, he did frame my brother for murder...”

The look on Isabella’s face made Agatha mentally curse to herself.

“What?” The woman’s voice was barely a whisper.

“Um...” The girl hesitated. “He was the reason my brother was in prison for over six months last year.”

The blonde exhaled, like she was holding her breath for a long time. “Oh my god,” She said under her breath. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Agatha sighed, shrugging. “You were too in love. You wouldn’t believe me.”

The older woman frowned.

“But I promise you,” The girl sat again on the chair and leaned towards the other woman. “I was keeping an eye on him. If he ever tried anything-”

“He would never hurt me!” Isabella didn’t let Agatha finish and felt tears on her eyes.

Agatha knew Isabella was in love. She understood. Over the years, she had seen her mother fall for men that left her without nothing. The girl knew how devastated you can get from a broken heart.

“Isabella, love blinds,” Agatha said, with honesty. “What you have with him it’s intense, but it’s blinding you from seeing the truth. He has killed people.”

Isabella looked offended at her and scoffed. “I think you should get back to work now.”

Agatha looked at her boss with sorrow on her heart. She really liked her and didn’t want to ruin their friendship, but there were things the older woman needed to listen. And if the blonde didn’t want the truth, there was nothing Agatha could do for her.

 

…

 

It was dark when Agatha left the library. Her mind was somewhere else. Her boss hadn’t talked to her for the rest of the day and the library ambient was so tense, the girl was exhausted when she left. The sounds of cars and people going home from their jobs, echoed through the streets as she walked past the alley she was almost mugged once. Seeing just a flash of him, she stopped her tracks and took a deep breath, her nostrils inhaling the cigarette smell coming from him. Turning around on her heels, she walked back until she met him again. With his back against the brick wall, he looked bored, like he was waiting there for ages.

“I didn’t know you smoked,” Agatha said, slightly smirking at him.

“Only when I’m stressed,” Zsasz replied, without looking at her.

There was a nod of acknowledgment. The girl had no right to judge him; she knew well those stressed days where even she lighted a cigarette or two to ease the weight of her shoulders.

“Listen…” She started, swallowing hard, the words almost not making their way to her mouth. “I’ll go to that party with you.”

Only then, Victor looked at her. There was not a single sign of a smirk or a smile on his face, at least not one Agatha could see.

“But,” She continued, as he pushed himself off the wall and threw the cigarette butt on the ground. “I have three conditions.”

The hitman smiled, approaching her with his hands in his pocket. “Name them.”

“You don’t get to touch me. Not even hold my hand.” The girl waited for him to react. His eyebrows were arched, and he slightly shrugged, tilting his head, like he was disappointed but not surprised

“We’ll only hang out in public spaces that have a lot of people,” She stated. “No offense, but um… I don’t trust you.”

Victor smirked and shook his head once. “None taken.”

Agatha sighed. “At last… You’ll pay for the cab. Round trip.”

“You know I can send a Limo.” He sighed and watched as she shook her head. “But you don’t trust me.”

The girl shrugged and gave him a microscopic smile. He watched her tired eyes and arms hugging each other like she was trying to comfort herself. Her neck was tense, and she kept looking away like her mind was somewhere else. He could tell she had a bad day only by looking at her body language.

“Would you, at least, wear a sexy dress?” He broke the silence that grew between them.

“Do you want me to slap you again?” The girl replied, rolled her eyes and started to walk away from him. It didn’t take long for him to follow her, chuckling softly.

“I think I should choose your outfit,” The hitman said, smiling at her. She didn’t look at him, unwittingly encouraging him to keep talking. "Maybe something short and tight-"

"I'll wear whatever the hell I want, Victor!" Agatha interrupted him, clearly annoyed.

Victor opened his mouth, pretending to be surprised. "Is that a swear? Naughty girl."

Agatha sighed closing her eyes. "Listen, I had a bad day. I am tired and all I wanna do is take a bath and sleep. It would be very nice of you if you just. Stop. Taunting me."

He gave her an evil grin. "You can take a bath with me, y'know. I'd make you feel _really_ relaxed."

Victor watched as Agatha blushed with anger on her eyes. She wanted to hit him again but was too embarrassed by his comment. The hitman smiled, thinking that she was the same girl he met on the GCPD, with pale pink nails and a navy blue skirt. He smiled at the thought and felt something he shouldn't have.

"D-Don't push it." The girl managed to say and turned her back on him, quickly.

"You don't have to hide, Pumpkin." He laughed. "I already know you blushed."

Ignoring his comment, Agatha walked faster, leaving Victor behind. Before entering her apartment, she heard him yell.

"See you there, Pumpkin!"

...

 

"Jim!" Agatha called him from her room.

"Yeah?" He stopped by her door.

"Red or black?"

Jim looked at the dresses she was holding up. She was wearing the silk pink robe he gave her on her birthday and her hair was already done, but her face was naked. He could see the bags under her eyes from the sleepless nights she had in the last few days. She had a bad week at work and that was killing her. Her boss didn't even look at her all those days and that really made her sad. And stressed.

"Red," He finally answered.

The girl smiled and turned around, placing the dress in front of her and looking in the mirror.

"I can't believe you're actually going to a party," Her brother said behind her as she sat down to do her makeup.

"Me neither," She replied, letting out a laugh.

"If things go south you call me, okay?" He looked at her through the reflection of the mirror. "Don't text, _call_. And never leave your drink alone."

Agatha nodded, looked at him and grinned.

"Look at you," He continued. "All grown up."

She blushed and laughed. "Stop."

"No, I meant it." He laughed along with her. "I didn't get to say this when you were actually growing up, so I'll say it now."

"It feels weird," She said looking at him. "I'm not a kid anymore..."

After they laughed some more, Agatha finished her makeup and dressed up. The heels made her uncomfortable, and she felt totally strange with all that makeup on her face. She'd usually wear some foundation and mascara, so she was not used seeing her face with so much makeup at once.

Victor was waiting for her at the entrance and he spotted her leaving the cab. He never saw her dressed up like that; a red long sleeved dress that ended right below her knees, thin black pantyhose and high heels. Her hair was curly with only one side pinned and her face was different.

She was beautiful.

He approached her, smirking and she smiled when saw him.

"You look stunning," Victor said, before ducking under the cab's passenger window to give the driver the money. When he looked at her again, she was flushing. Grinning, she leaned to whisper on her ear, the skin on his lips almost touching her. "But I wish you wore more cleavage."

Agatha felt a shiver in her spine as she felt his hot breath and flushed ever harder. She took a deep breath and turned around, her back facing him, and started to walk into the building. Victor led her to a long flight of stairs in silence. The girl tried to cool off her cheeks and calm down her fast beating heart. Just that week, she had slapped him for saying such things, but now she was too nervous. There was too much going on; the people going up the stairs along with made her nervous. Too many people, too much talking. Too much noise.

Once they reached the top of stairs, Agatha tried not to look at the crowd of people inside the salon and tried to focus on Victor instead. He was with his hands behind him and only then, Agatha noticed the tuxedo he was wearing. She couldn't lie, he looked very good. He looked so good, she let escape a small smile from her face.

"Like what you see, Pumpkin?" The hitman said without taking his eyes off the people at the party.

The girl looked away, embarrassed like she was a kid and was caught doing something wrong. By now, she'd be used to those snarky comments but today was different. Her anxiety was on the roof and all she wanted to do was leave. It only occurred to her when she was in the taxi, she was going to a party. A party with people.

Agatha Gordon didn't do parties.

And yet, there she was, in a party, with a hitman for a date.

Victor noticed the light redness on her face and chuckled softly, conducting her to the salon. The girl clenched her hand purse harder and took a deep breath.

"So..." She spoke, trying to distract herself from the air that suddenly started escaping her lungs. "Who's engagement is this?"

"My boss' son," He replied with boredom in his voice. Agatha assumed it was Don Falcone's son since Penguin didn't have any children. "He said he wanted me as a guest, not an employee."

She nodded, saying no more. As he expected, she'd never understood his loyalty to the Falcone family. Maybe one day he'd tell her how miserable he was before they found him. Maybe one day he'd tell what the Falcone family meant to him. Being a part of Mario's wedding celebration, even though the hitman didn't like his boss' son, meant the family trusted him. He had the answer on the tip of his tongue, just in case she asked.

"How many bosses do you have?" Agatha asked, as they walked to the bar. Victor wanted to laugh but contained himself. That was so not to the question he was expecting.

Instead of answering her, he nodded for her to follow him to the bar.

“Scotch.” He practically demanded to the bartender girl. “And for you,” he looked back at Agatha. “a Martini, maybe?”

Agatha narrowed her eyes, angry at the way he smiled. Angry at the way he thought he knew her and angry at the way he treated the girl who was serving the drinks. “I don’t drink,” She said, reaching for the money inside her purse.

“You do now,” He said with a stern voice.

She looked at him, in disbelief. “You don’t tell me what I do or don’t.”

Victor looked surprised at her, then gave her a narrow smile, which she ignored as she ordered a bottled water. “You don’t have to pay, y’know,” He said when saw her take the money out of her purse. “As my guest, you can have anything here for free.”

“I like free stuff. But I’m still tipping her,” She said sliding the money down the counter. “Because you were rude.”

The girl behind the counter smirked at Agatha and took the money. She nodded at her, silently thanking her as she left them both to attend to other people.

“A twenty, huh?” Zsasz said, referring to the 20 dollar bill she gave away. He leaned his elbows on the bar and smiled. “You sure that’s not all your librarian salary?”

She looked at him, dead in the eye. “Do you want me to leave?”

He chuckled softly. “I’m just joking, Pumpkin.”

Agatha rolled her eyes and he felt his phone vibrate on his pocket. She watched as he took it and excused himself to answer the call.

“Tough date,” A feminine voice spoke behind Agatha. When she turned, she saw a pretty woman with soft curls around her face and a smile on her lips. “No man should tell a woman what to do.”

Agatha chuckled. “I don’t even know why I came with him.”

_Don’t know why I came at all._

“That’s why you gotta do like me.” The woman sipped her vodka. “Do something for yourself and come alone.”

Agatha nodded without saying anything and sipped from her water too.

“Hm, I’m Vale.” She reached her hand to Agatha and the girl shook it. “Valerie Vale.”

“Oh! Um, Agatha,” The girl said and smiled. “Should you be here?” Valerie frowned at her, almost looking offended. “I mean...” Agatha tried to fix it. “I heard you were shot...”

“Yeah… From who?” Valerie looked suspicious.

The younger girl opened her mouth but closed right away. She couldn’t tell Valerie she was her ex’s sister. The journalist would definitely tell her brother and he would ask why she was at an engagement party with Victor Zsasz.

“Newspaper,” She finally answered.

“Huh,” The older woman replied. “I was released from the hospital yesterday. But… How could I say no to my _‘partner-in-getting-kidnapped-and-almost-getting-killed’_ , even after having the same ex?”

Agatha’s heart dropped. “Lee Thompkins?”

Valerie laughed. “Yeah, who’s engagement do you think this is?”

Valerie kept talking but Agatha didn’t listen. She was so nervous about going to that party that she didn’t even stop to think who was the girl Mario was marrying. It was a good thing Lee never got to meet Agatha, she’d never recognize her. Her brother could never ever know his little sister was at his ex’s engagement party with Victor Zsasz.

The sound of a spoon taping a glass caught everyone’s attention and a speech was going on. Then, Agatha spotted Lee. And she could see why her brother didn’t want to let her go. She was beautiful, Agatha decided, different even. Different from all the girls Jim had dated. The girl felt sad for her brother.

Until she spotted _her._

Agatha’s breath got caught on her throat and she suddenly needed fresh air. She hadn’t seen Barbara Kean ever since she and Jim got engaged a few years back. He had told her about how his ex-fiancé going crazy and almost killing him and Lee on several occasions. But after that, he never talked about her anymore and Agatha assumed she had fled the city or something. But there she was, standing beside a random guy and watching Lee with a malicious look on her face.

Agatha turned around and looked for a balcony, seeking fresh air. As soon as she saw one, she left Valerie at the bar, mumbling an ‘I need fresh air’ and walked away quickly. When the cold air hit her, she could breathe again. Closing her eyes, she seized the moment, feeling the air enter her lungs. She stood like that for minutes before hearing a voice behind her.

“You’re breaking your own condition,” Victor said as he stepped outside.

“I needed fresh air,” Agatha said without even looking at him.

The hitman said nothing as he walked beside her, to look at the city.

“That was a long phone call,” The girl mumbled, looking at the urban landscape.

“Sorry, Pumpkin.” He smiled at her even though she still didn’t look at him. “Had to do something for Penguin.”

“And by _‘something’_ you mean _‘kill someone’_.” It wasn’t a question, she said it in a firm voice and when he didn’t answer, she looked at him. “I’m not stupid, y’know.”

“Never said you were,” He said in a soft voice.

They stared at each other for a moment and then her expression softened. Her brows slightly furrowed and she licked her bottom lip, taking a deep breath as if she was holding something in. Victor opened his mouth to tell her to spit it out, but she spoke first, surprising him.

“Do you like killing?”

The hitman stared at her in awe, as she swallowed hard, scared of the answer.

“Honestly?” He said, after looking at her for a while.

“Please.”

“I do enjoy the feeling.”

Agatha let out a shaky breath she didn’t know she was holding and looked away from him.

“The money makes it easier, actually,” He continued. “I used to care at first, I used to feel guilty.”

She looked at him again, surprised to learn he wasn’t always like that.

“But once I realized none of the people Don Falcone wanted dead were innocent... Everything changed.”

“What about tonight?” Agatha asked. “Whoever you killed. Were they innocent?”

Victor hesitated. He looked at her hand, resting on the balcony and felt the urge to touch it. Felt the urge to hold her. Felt something he should not. _Again_.

“Yes,” He replied with honesty. “They were.”

The girl swallowed and nodded, trying not to look him in the eyes. She knew if she did, she wouldn’t have the guts to say what she was about to say.

“It was a mistake coming here.”

“Agatha-”

“It’s my brother’s ex.” She interrupted him. “It’s her engagement party, did you know that?”

Victor didn’t look away from her but the look in his eyes said everything. Of course he knew, he wasn’t stupid; he knew damn well Lee was Jim’s former partner and why they broke up. He knew everything because Mario had told his father about it. And Victor just had a really good hearing.

“I shouldn’t have come here,” she said. “Not to this party, not with you.”

“Hey-” He started with a soft voice, but she didn’t let him speak.

“Don’t contact me again.” Her voice broke. “Please don’t go to the library and leave me alone.”

Victor Zsasz watched as Agatha Gordon left the balcony and blended with the crowd.


	5. death doesn't discriminate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just now realized that the texts on the fic weren't formatted like i wrote them on Word and like...... thats so embarrassing lmao, i'm sorry, i took my time fixing them, so it should be okay now.......... i'm cringing so hard at myself now i wanna DIE LMAO
> 
> anyway
> 
> sorry about that.

Agatha was confused when a call from GCPD brought her to the police department on a Saturday morning. She immediately thought it was something Victor had done. Maybe she had to identify a body, or worse, confirm his alibi.

The police department was filled with people from the party. Agatha was confused at first, seeing Jim walking around non-stop.

"What happened?" She asked him, when he approached her.

"Were you at Lee's engagement party yesterday?" He asked.

Agatha felt her stomach drop and felt sick.

"I-I..." She stuttered.

"Barbara Kean called me. She saw you there." His voice indicated he wasn't mad, he was more worried than angry which was weird.

"I didn't know it was hers, I swear!" She blurred out. Jim sighed. "If I knew-"

"I know," He interrupted her. "It's okay I'm not mad."

"I'm sorry," Her voice was soft.

He just shook his head. "How was she?"

"Lee? Awful. Miserable. So fat and ugly..."

The answer made him laugh. It was nice to know someone was still trying to make him feel good about the whole situation.

"How was she?" He said it again, this time with softness in his voice.

Agatha sighed. "She was beautiful," She confessed. "I can see why you didn't want to let her go."

She watched her brother nod once more before getting called by someone.

The girl was right about one of the two things she feared. Her stomach started to twist as soon as she entered the room; the smell of formalin and other chemicals invaded her nostrils. She was told to wait for a moment, which made her even more nervous. When the responsible doctor entered the room again, he came in with Edward Nygma, mayor Cobblepot and Victor Zsasz.

Agatha didn't look at any of them, instead focusing her gaze on the doctor, trying not to panic. Once the white sheet was off the body, Agatha brought her hands to cover her mouth and her eyes filled with tears.

The body of Isabella was a wreck; red bruises and cuts were all over her face. Her clothes were something different from what she'd usually wear... But it was definitely her.

The air escaped Agatha's lungs and she wanted to vomit. A whimper escaped her throat as tears streamed down her face. She needed air, pure air, not the chemicals she was breathing in. She could hear Nygma gasping, and someone calling her name, but she was out of herself. She opened her mouth to say something, but the vision of her boss and only friend _dead_ was too much. Turning around to leave, the girl set her eyes on Victor and they stared at each other for a split of a second.

"I need fresh air," She breathed, passing him and practically running outside.

Her breathing started to slow once she was outside the department, leaning on the wall. She wasn’t crying anymore now that she wasn’t in the same room as Isabella.

 _That’s not her,_ she told herself. _that’s just a corpse._

The thought made her stomach twist again and her breakfast almost made its way up to her mouth. It felt so surreal. Like if it wasn’t true, if Isabella would just open her eyes and sit up on that table and laugh and smile and talk to her.

Agatha heard footsteps, but she kept her face turned to the streets, where all the people were walking. It was somehow... Distracting to her.

“I’m sorry for your loss,” Victor said, leaning on the wall beside her.

“What happened?” She asked, without looking at him.

“Officer said she ran through a red light and crashed into a train,” He mirrored Penguin’s words.

Agatha felt the tears creep into her eyes again and turned her face away from him not to see her cry.

"I'm sorry, Pumpkin," He repeated.

"She was my only friend," She whimpered, voice cracking and sniffing; the smell of chemicals still in her nose.

Victor half expected for her to say something about him, that she still had him but she didn't. He didn't even know why he expected that it wasn't like he cared about her. He felt something he shouldn't have again. Jealous, maybe? He didn't feel that in so long he didn't even remember what it felt like.

They were in silence for a while, and then Victor spoke.

"Wanna get out of here?"

"With you?"

He shrugged. She knew she shouldn't. But she wanted. She didn't like the fact she wanted to wonder the city off with Victor Zsasz, but she did. A million thoughts went through her mind. The need of wanting a new friend, of not being alone; she almost said yes, but remembered what he did for a living. He doesn't only kill bad people, he kills innocent people too. The guy was a murderer, a psychopath who enjoyed what he did.

Then a thought crossed her mind. What if he...

_No. Isabella's death was an accident._

"What about your boss?" She asked.

"He'll live."

Agatha went quiet. He watched her.

"You still don't trust me," He accused.

"Is that even a question?" The girl leaned back on the wall. "The fact that I'm a wreck and vulnerable right now doesn't give you the right to pry into my mind and spit on it."

Zsasz frowned at the thought. "Damn. Who hurt you?"

Agatha just rolled her eyes and sighed.

"No, seriously," Victor insisted. "Who hurt you that much?"

"No one hurt me, Victor," She said, crossing her arms.

He watched her once more. Hearing his name come out of her naturally pink lips felt so right to him. Little did she know, it was Agatha who was prying into Victor's mind and spitting on it. He started to have sensations, _feelings_ , he didn't have a long time ago.

They stood in silence for a few more minutes.

"I need to go home." She pushed herself from the wall. "See you around."

The sudden lack of feeling in her voice made Victor frown confused. Until two seconds earlier, she was with tears in her eyes and trying not to cry and now she was just...

"Can I walk you home, at least?" He asked, starting to walk behind her.

"No." She turned to face him. "Please don't follow me. Not today."

The man opened his mouth to protest, but she spoke again.

"You're an assassin, Victor." She looked at him. "A cold-blooded killer, that does it for money."

Agatha let out a breath she didn't even know she was holding. She had left him speechless, without a word he could say to change her mind. She didn’t care if it hurt him or made him mad. She needed to let him know she didn’t approve what he did for a living.

And she was right, he was a cold-blooded killer and he was going soft for her. Wanting to see her every day. Walking her home. He never did that to anyone.

Victor watched her walk away. He quietly went back to the police department, where his boss was waiting for him and called it a day.

 

...

 

The following week was very hard for Agatha. No one showed up at Isabella's funeral except for her and Edward Nygma, who didn't shed a tear.

When she showed up at work, a note was left at the door of the library saying that the place would be closed for an undetermined time. She fought the tears as she stood in front of the door, her hand reaching for it but dropping to her side once she touched the paper.

"Are you okay?" Jim asked as they sat to have breakfast together in the next day.

The girl sighed. "The library is closed. I have no job now."

He sighed and looked at her.

"Don't give me that look," She said taking a sip of her coffee.

"What look?"

"Like you're sorry."

"I _am_ sorry."

"Jimmy..." She closed her eyes and sighed. Jim chuckled.

"Haven't heard that in years!" He smiled at her, but she didn’t.

"Just don't treat me like I'm made of glass, okay? I might be grieving but… I’m still me."

He nodded and wiped his mouth, standing up. "Sorry, Junebug." He kissed her head.

It was Agatha's turn to chuckle. "Haven't heard _that_ in years," She mirrored her brother's words.

"I gotta go," He said, grabbing his coat and putting it on.

"Are you still investigating Captain Barnes?"

He sighed. "Yes."

"Be careful, okay?" Agatha pleaded after a moment in silence.

Jim nodded. "Love you," He said and then left, leaving her by herself.

The urge of stalking Agatha was getting worse for Victor. He watched as Jim Gordon left the apartment, and held himself back.

He tried. God knows he tried. But the girl was just... _Intoxicating_. She had entered his mind and he couldn’t get her out. No amount of strippers and insecure women were enough for him to forget Agatha. And _he tried._

He stared at the apartment, waiting for her to come out. He knew she wouldn't but he wanted her to. He wanted to see her, hear her voice, look into her hazel colored eyes once more. Goddammit, this girl was going to make him crazy.

His hands reached for one of his knives when he saw a mailman walk over by her door. This was something new too. He had a certain feeling that said he had to protect her, something he didn't even feel with the girls who worked for him. Something he hadn’t felt for anyone in years... He watched as the man dropped whatever he had to drop on the letterbox and left. The grip on his knife loosened but not enough for him to drop it.

"Fuck," He murmured when his phone started buzzing. Another call from Penguin, wanting him at his mansion.

Victor sighed and took a last look at the building before leaving.

The handwriting was beautiful. Agatha held the letter addressed to her and read who it was from. Her hands started to shake once she saw the name. Her hands quickly opened the letter, desperately wanting to read it.

_Agatha,_

_I'm sure I'll be back from the convention once you read this, and I'm sure we'll have made our peace by then. But when you read this, please, keep it safe where no one else can find it. Don't talk about this to anyone, not even me._

_With that being said, I need you to know something. Mayor Cobblepot visited me in my home last night. He threatened me. Said if I didn't break up with Ed, I'd regret it. I know we haven't spoken this week, but I'm scared, Agatha. I didn't act like it, but I am. I don't know what he's gonna do to me_.

_Agatha, if something happens to me in this two-day trip, I want you to contact your brother. Show this letter to him and he'll know what to do. I think so._

_And if nothing happens, please pretend you never got this letter and don't bring it up to me._

_You're my only friend._

_Love, Isabella._

Agatha's hands trembled as she dressed the clothes she picked up and left her home, in a hurry.

 

...

 

"Situation with my brother?!" Agatha repeated the words detective Bullock said, as she followed him outside of the GCPD. "What do you mean with that? Is he okay?!"

Harvey tried to calm her down. "Everything is fine."

"Is someone trying to kill him?"

The man looked at her in the eyes and sighed. "I'm gonna bring him back," He said, putting a hand on her arm. "That's a promise."

She could feel the honesty coming from his words and nodded, taking a deep breath. The girl watched him leave and felt the air escape her lungs. Her breath got caught on her throat and she had to lean a hand on the wall of the building.

_I can't lose him..._

Taking deep breaths, she put herself together and called a taxi. She had no other choice. She'd have to go to _him_.

 

...

 

The cab drive to the Cobblepot residence was long and tiring. Agatha was nervous the whole way and when she got there, she paid the driver and stared at the gates that surrounded a big field. It reminded her of her old home, with the big backyard. Except this was so much bigger than her old house.

The gate was half open, like if someone left in a hurry. Carefully, she pushed it open and looked to the long path to the mansion.

"Just like going on a hike," She sighed and started walking.

When she reached the house, she was unsure what to do. Swallowing hard, the girl reached for the doorbell and waited. A few moments later, a woman with a maid uniform answered and spoke in another language that Agatha couldn't understand.

"Um, I need to speak with Mr. Nygma?" She tried, but the woman kept talking and closed the door on the girl's face.

"It’s really important!" She yelled and knocked on the door several times.

No answer.

Agatha sighed and reached for her phone. She was about to call her brother again, but a voice interrupted her.

"I've never seen you wear actual pants."

The girl got startled and dropped her phone, looking for the person who interrupted her. Victor gave her a narrow smile as he approached her. He was so used to see her with her typical librarian clothes that he almost didn’t recognize her when she showed up at the mansion. Seeing her body on high waisted jeans and a sweater was so different to him, that he had to take another look.

“Victor,” She said, pulling him out of his daydream. He was expecting an eye roll, or a sigh, like she always used to.

But she smiled. She fucking smiled and he felt it again. The thing he had been feeling that he couldn't even name it.

"Could you, please, give this to Edward Nygma?" She asked, handing the letter to him.

Victor narrowed his eyes to her and snatched the paper from her hands and looked at it. A letter directed to Agatha Gordon. He looked at her again to find her still smiling.

"Of course," He said with his dragged voice. "On one condition."

Agatha's smile fell and she looked him dead in the eye. "Do I have to go out with you again?"

The hitman smiled. That narrow, malicious smile and she sighed, irritated. She knew the answer. She knew he was doing that because he had no other way of seeing her, now that she wasn't working anymore. There was no way she'd ever go out with him again. After the party, after learning what he really does...

But Isabella...

Jim was gone for the moment. Edward was the only option. And her deceased friend deserved that. The late woman didn't die by accident.

"Fine," Agatha said after a moment in silence. "I'll go wherever you want, just..." She sighed. "Please, give this to him."

"Huh." He raised the envelope and took a look at it once more. "Is it really important?"

The girl swallowed. Isabella specifically wrote her not to show it to anyone. If Victor read it and showed to his boss... Then _she_ would be the one in danger. Oswald would kill her in a split of second and Nygma would never know his girlfriend was murdered.

"No," She replied and he raised his eyebrows at her.

"Then it can wait."

The girl frowned. "Wait?"

"Until you go out with me."

She sighed and closed her eyes, swallowing the words that came to her mouth. Isabella was important.

"Okay," She said. "When?"

"This Thursday." He put his hands behind him and bend over a little to face her. "I'll send the-"

"No fancy cars." She interrupted him. "My brother will get suspicious."

"I was going to say cab, but..."

Agatha nodded once. "A cab is fine. Is it a party again?"

Victor chuckled. "Just dinner."

Her heart skipped a beat, although she didn't know why. She must have changed her expression because Victor chuckled once more, closing the little space between them and looking down at her.

"My boss wants me to interact with the family now that there's a new member," He said. "Said I could bring a date."

"So I'm just an escape to whenever you have to deal with the Falcones?" Agatha said, not really sure why. Her mouth moved faster than her brain, and she regretted instantly.

"No," He said, his voice hoarse and low. "You're so much more than that."

The girl's breath got caught in her throat as he approached even more. She wanted to look away from his dark eyes, but she couldn't. It was the first time she actually looked into his eyes and... It wasn't that bad. A soft gasp came out of the mouth when Victor raised his hand to touch her face. He froze his movement without taking his eyes from her; he searched for some sign of consent, something in her expression that told him he couldn't touch her.

The sound of Agatha's phone ringing made her jump startled, but he didn't move. He only dropped his hand beside him and watched as she fumbled with her purse to find the phone.

"Hello?" She answered it, her voice weak.

 _"Junebug."_ She heard Jim say on the other line.

Agatha sighed, relieved to know her brother was alive. "Jim!" She felt her eyes fill with tears. "What happened?"

_"I'll explain later. Where are you?"_

"Um..." She looked at Victor who was watching her the whole time. "I-I'm going home."

The girl turned on her heels to walk away.

_“Okay. I’ll wait for you.”_

She turned the phone off just in time to hear Victor yell.

“Please wear jeans again!”

 

…

 

Agatha looked at herself in the mirror and cringed. She didn’t like wearing jeans. It felt too tight and she felt stuck in them. Like she couldn’t move. Sighing, she ripped them off her body and grabbed a skirt and button-up shirt from her wardrobe.

_Much better._

She smiled to her reflection and closed the distance between her and the mirror to swipe her fringe to the side.

“I can’t believe you’re going on a second date,” Jim said from behind her, startling the girl.

“Shut up,” Agatha sighed. “It’s not a second date, it’s just dinner.”

"Sounds like a date to me," He replied, leaning on the side of the door and bringing his tea mug to his lips.

"Well, it's not." She put her hairbrush down and turned to him. "What do you think?"

Jim looked at her outfit and made a face.

"Oh, no," She said, turning to see herself in the mirror again.

"Maybe another shirt?" Her brother suggested.

Agatha thought for a second and then, grabbed a turtleneck crop-top from one of her drawers. Unbuttoning her shirt, she saw how Jim turned around, uncomfortable with seeing her without a shirt on.

"Okay," She said after putting the top on and fixing her hair. "What about now?"

He smiled when turned around. "That's better."

Sighing, Agatha looked at herself in the mirror one last time.

"You okay?" Jim asked, stepping into the bedroom.

"Yeah," She replied, sighing. "It won't be all night, right?"

He chuckled. "If you don't want to."

“I don’t,” she confessed. “I really don’t.”

“Hey,” Jim said softly, approaching her. He put his hands on the side of her face and looked right into her eyes. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”

_But I have to. I really have to._

She nodded. She couldn't tell why she was nervous. She was scared of Victor, yes. But this was different. She didn't know why it was different.

When the cab arrived at the mansion, Agatha was amused. She thought the Cobblepot mansion was big until she saw this one.

Victor was waiting for her outside the front door. Suddenly, her heart started beating faster, and she felt the familiar sensation inside her stomach. When she set her eyes on him, she wasn't scared. She didn't think about all the crimes and murders he had committed. It was like Victor was a normal guy who had invited Agatha over to dinner.

"You're late," He said as she got out of the cab.

"Sorry," She replied, adjusting her skirt. "Traffic was-"

She interrupted herself when he smiled. A full teeth smile and for the first time, she wasn't scared to stare at him.

"Come in." He offered his hand for her to take it and she just looked at it.

Agatha considered. She really did. She felt the urge to take his hand and let him guide her to wherever he wanted. But before she could make a move, he dropped his hand to the side, chuckling.

"One day, Agatha Gordon," He said, putting his hand behind him and starting to walk. "you're gonna trust me."

She was quiet. He guided her through multiple corridors and she was amazed by the interior of the place. She could tell the big house was old but still classy. Her favorite things were the paintings. Not only of people but of landscapes. Animals. Fruits on a table. She felt like she was in a period drama story.

Finally, Victor came to a stop, entering the dining room, where several people were waiting. Agatha was caught by surprise when she saw they weren’t going to be alone this evening. Her breath got caught in her throat when she saw who really was sitting at the table.

Lee and the Falcones.


	6. shrimp risotto

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took a while I was busyyyyyyy ):
> 
> anyway, happy halloween i guess?

“So,” Lee asked, smiling. “How long you and Victor been together?”

Agatha choked on her red wine and almost spilled it on her food. If the dinner wasn't awkward enough, Lee had to start talking.

"We're not together," The girl said, after wiping her mouth, at the same time Victor said ‘four weeks’. “We’re not... together.”

She looked at Victor with an angry frown.

"Oh," Mario said. "Victor never brings anyone in. You must be special, then."

Agatha felt her cheeks burn and looked at her food. Shrimp risotto. She had to force herself to not make a face. She hated shrimp. The smell, the taste of it; yet there she was, forcing the thing down her throat just because she didn't want to be rude.

"So, what do you work with?" Lee asked again.

"Uh, I, um..." The younger girl sighed. "I'm a librarian- Or was." She quickly corrected herself.

"Was?"

"Yeah, uh... My boss was-" She almost said 'murdered' "My boss was in a train accident... And she didn't survive, so... I don't know who's gonna be in charge of the library."

"That's horrible!" The woman gasped. "I'm so sorry."

Lee gave Agatha a sympathetic looked and the girl smirked at her. She really thought the 'interview' was over, followed by the silence, but she was wrong.

"So you have no job, then?" Mario asked.

"Nope,"

"And you live on your own?"

She hesitated. "No... I live with my brother."

"And he works...?"

She almost sighed annoyed. Why was her life so interesting all of sudden?

"In the police department," She replied with anger start to boil inside her.

"Oh." Lee smiled. "Who is it? Maybe I know him."

_Yeah, you definitely know him._

"James..." She started, hesitating.

_Screw it._

"James Gordon."

And then, there was silence. A silence so excruciating that you could hear a pin drop to the floor. Even Don Falcone stopped eating and looked at her.

"You're Jim's sister?" Lee asked, with eyebrows lifted and eyes wide. Agatha just nodded, shoving another fork of shrimp risotto into her mouth. She almost gagged at the taste but held herself. "He never told he had a sister..."

"He never does." Agatha wiped her mouth with the napkin. "I ask him not to. I like living in the shadows."

"And yet, here you are with the Falcones," Carmine said, for the first time.

Agatha laughed for the first time at the table and Victor smiled, feeling his heart skip a beat again.

"Well, I really didn't have a choice did I?" She said, smiling at Victor.

He looked at her and chuckled. Another silence. The girl looked at Lee, who was still in shock and regretted her actions. What if Lee told Jim about this? What if she told her brother Agatha was hanging out with a hitman?

Carmine and Victor started talking about work and suddenly the heavy vibe was gone. Agatha was glad the spotlight wasn’t on her anymore and was quiet for the rest of the dinner.

Then, desert came, along with coffee. Agatha's stomach growled quietly at the sigh of cake. That full fork was the only bite she got out of the horrendous shrimp risotto; the rest of dinner, she just moved the food around with her fork and nobody seemed to notice she hadn't eaten.

Victor did.

Agatha ate the cake. But she wanted more. She thought that when she got home she'd eat something before going to bed.

But she didn't get to go home that night. A storm fell over the outskirts of Gotham, coincidentally, the part of the city she was. They were soon informed of a flooding at the region and then, Agatha was offered a room to spend the night. After a lot of convincing, she had to stay. There was no way there'd be a cab wondering around the loud storm, waiting to be called. So she stayed.

_"You don't have to do anything you don't want to, Peanut."_

Agatha sighed at the phone. She sensed the preoccupation in Jim's voice, but she couldn't help but feel like he was suffocating her.

"Jim," She said, noticing a shadow in the corner of the hallway. "I'm gonna be okay. Don't worry. I'm a big girl, remember?"

Jim chuckled. _"All right. Call me in the morning, okay?"_

"Okay." Agatha finally identified the shadow watching her. "I have to go."

Turning the call off, she walked in the direction of the shadow and smiled.

"Lee," She said.

"Hey, I have a nightgown to borrow you." The older woman gave her a silk nightdress and a cotton robe. "Let me know if it doesn't fit."

"Wait," Agatha called her as the other woman started to walk away. "Can I ask you a favor?"

"Sure."

"Can you..." She hesitated. "Not mention to Jim about me coming here... With Victor..."

Lee took a short breath and gave the girl a small smile. "Of course."

"Thank you."

"He didn't force you to come here, did he?" The woman said, as Agatha started to walk away. The girl turned around and looked at her, frowning. "Earlier you said you had no choice..."

"Oh," Agatha replied. "It was more like an agreement. He'd do something for me if I came here tonight."

Lee nodded. "How did you get into all this anyway? With him?"

Agatha sighed. "I have no idea."

...

Agatha looked at herself in the mirror. She was wearing Lee's nightdress and, well... She felt exposed. She wasn't used with clothes with cleavage, she didn't like them. Lee lacked a little bit in the... Breast department. Unlike Agatha, at least, which it's why the nightgown was a little tight on her chest.

She sighed, looking at her face. She took the liberty of taking a shower, after seeing the size of the bathroom in her guest room. You only get an opportunity like this once in a lifetime. Her hair was soaked wet, the soft curls now gone. The only sign of makeup on her face was a little bit of mascara under her eyes. She tried her best to dry her hair with the towel, but gave up, wishing she had a blow dryer with her.

A knock on the door startled her and she ran to the bed to grab the white robe.

"Come in," She said, after putting the robe on and covering herself to the neck.

Victor entered the half dark room and saw her standing in the middle of it, visibly uncomfortable. He stopped at the door when she rolled her eyes and sighed.

"Did you enjoy your shower?" He asked, the stupid smile Agatha hated so much on his lips.

"Well," She said. "The bathroom is bigger than my kitchen, so... Yes?"

He chuckled, entering the room and closing the door behind him. Agatha knew that it should've scared her, the fact she was with an assassin in a closed room. But it didn't. She wasn’t scared of him anymore and she wasn't sure why.

"I'm sorry you're stuck here until tomorrow," He said, putting his hands behind him, as usual. He was still wearing the same suit he was at dinner.

Agatha scoffed. "Yeah, like you didn't like that."

"Oh, trust me." He started closing the distance between them. "I want to be home more than ever."

She frowned. "Wait, so you don't live here?"

It was Victor's turn to scoff. He shook his head. A moment of silence between them followed until the loud thunder startled her again. She turned her back to him, walking towards the big window and observing the rain.

"You don't like storms?" Victor asked, his voice now closer to her.

"I like the rain," She replied after a moment in silence. "The sound... It does calm me down."

"But?"

"The thunder," She continued. "It's just..."

"Too loud," He completed for her.

She looked at him and didn't get surprised when saw he was standing really close to her. He was staring at a point in her neck where he noticed the beginning of a scar. The girl pulled the robe up to cover it and looked back at the window.

"Did you enjoy dinner?" He asked, desperately trying to make conversation.

"Sure."

"Really?" He half smirked at her, even though she couldn't see it. "Did you taste anything at all with just one bite?"

She frowned and looked at him again. "How do you-"

"You just moved the fork around the food and almost gagged when you actually ate it."

Agatha sighed. "Fine. I hate shrimp. Or any sea food."

Victor chuckled.

"Will you give the letter to Nygma, now?" She asked, looking at the raindrops that violently landed on the window glass.

"Already did," He replied. "Before you even got here."

Agatha looked at him, frowning. She opened her mouth to say something but closed it right after. He laughed.

"Are you saying I ate that disgusting shrimp risotto for nothing?"

"Well, not for nothing." He shrugged.

The girl saw him smile and felt the corners of her mouth curve.

"Yeah, you're right, there was cake after." Agatha looked at Victor, a playful smirk on her lips and laughed.

Victor decided he loved the sound of her laugh.

There was more silence. It wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable. It was a good kind of silence that neither of them had known before. He looked at her, watching her eyes dancing as she watched the droplets of rain drip on the glass of the window.

“I’m sorry for what I said at the party,” He told her, suddenly.

The girl was surprised and looked right into his eyes, seeing the sincerity in them. She didn’t know if she joked or laughed. Looking away, she smiled at herself, hoping Victor wouldn’t notice. But he did.

“Thank you,” She replied, still not looking at him.

It was then, that Agatha realized. Victor Zsasz wasn’t that bad.

And she liked it.

…

 

A few days passed after the dinner with the Falcones. A week or so. In the meantime, Agatha got a job in a bookstore. It wasn’t like the library, but it was something. She was still surrounded by books, which was her favorite vibe. She barely saw her new boss, not that it mattered. She had the sense the man didn’t like her anyway. The bookstore was a few more blocks away from her home, but being able to have a job was worth it. And she didn’t have to go home at night; her shift was only part time. She even had a new coworker.

She hadn’t seen Victor during that time. At that point, she thought he’d already figured out she was working again, but he didn’t show up yet. And she didn’t know why that bothered her.

After the dinner, Agatha noticed a new contact in her phone. She only had three: Jim, her mom, and the pizza place. But she saw a fourth one when she was going to order a pizza one night. A simple contact named _V._ She thought about deleting it, but her guts told her not to. The first thought that came to her was Victor, but she quickly brushed that thought away.

Trying to focus on her book, she sighed. It was a slow day at the small bookstore and she was the only one there for now. Then, the door bell made her aware someone had just entered the store.

The tough looking boy l went straight to the cashier, where Agatha was. Before she could say a word, the boy pulled a knife out of nowhere and pointed at her.

"Give me all your cash!" He demanded.

Agatha's heart started beating faster and she dropped her book.

"Are you dumb?! Give me all your cash!"

She was paralyzed. Her hand started to shake but she couldn't bring herself to move. It was like she was at that alley again, when she first met Victor. Everything seemed to move in slow motion and suddenly she couldn't breathe.

Another door bell echoed inside her head. Or was it at the store?

"Beat it," The familiar voice said.

The boy just looked at Victor, who had a furious look in his eyes.

"I said fucking beat it!"

And the boy was gone in a split of a second. Agatha crouched to pick her book up with trembling hands and grabbed the counter, feeling dizzy when she stood up.

"Pumpkin," Victor called her, but no response. Her eyes were shut and she was trying to breathe. "Hey, it's okay now, he's gone."

He hesitantly reached for her hands, but as soon as the leather glove touched her skin, she pulled back immediately. Then her senses came back to her again and she could breathe, feeling the air enter her lungs.

"Sorry," She whispered, tears starting to form in her eyes.

"You're okay," He didn't ask, just stated.

Agatha nodded, and felt different. Like she almost could trust him.

After calming down, she tried to find the page she was reading, forcing herself not to look at him and smile. She didn't know what kind of sorcery he had done with her, but after the dinner, she started to see him with different eyes.

"Spit it out." His voice was low and hoarse. She looked at him and frowned. "You wanna say something, say it."

Right. She forgot how he could read her like she was transparent.

Sighing, she let the book go. "Took you long enough."

"You were expecting me?" He gave her a smirk.

She looked at him and hesitated. "Well..."

Agatha looked into his eyes and, just like the last night they saw each other, she was not scared. She wasn't worried if he'd kill her. She felt like...

_For crying out loud! He's a killer!_

"I knew my days of peace were doomed anyway." She shrugged. “What’s the point of waiting?”

Victor's smirk grew wider, leaning his elbows on the counter, making Agatha suppress a smile. She noticed a red bruise on his forehead and frowned.

“What happened here?” Her voice was soft, almost like a whisper as she raised her hand to touch his face.

He felt the smallest brush of her fingers in his skin and closed his eyes. Her senses came back to her and, suddenly, she pulled her hand back.

“Sorry,” She said, cheeks flushing and eyes avoiding his gaze.

Victor stared at her. In the moment she made skin to skin contact with him, he felt attracted to her for the first time. He knew _this_ feeling. He had been attracted to other people before, but not to her. With Agatha was... Something else. Something he couldn't quite put a name to it no matter how hard he tried. It was like his heart skipped a beat and his breath was suddenly unsteady every time she laughed or smiled. The things he felt for other girls were _nothing_ compared to what he felt for Agatha.

The sound of the door bell interrupted his thoughts, but he didn't take his eyes off of Agatha.

"Sorry, I'm late, you won't believe the traffic-" The feminine voice suddenly stopped talking. Only then, Victor turned to see a red headed tall girl staring at him. He could tell she recognized him, her eyes couldn't stop staring at the guns on his holster.

"Actually you're ten minutes early," Agatha said, looking at her wrist watch.

"Oh," The girl said, still looking at Victor.

"Emily?" Agatha called her. The ginger looked at the girl, coming back to her senses. "This is Victor. Victor this is Emily."

He didn't say a word. Only nodded, with a narrow smirk. Emily let out a short breath and nodded. She entered behind the counter and pushed the door that led to the back room. A custom made locker room. Agatha frowned and then returned her gaze to Victor.

"So, your shift ends at two," He said.

"Yeah," She replied, the flush on her cheeks gone and a more comfortable look in her face.

"Then you grab a coffee and take a walk at the park," He said, describing what she's been doing in the last week.

"I'm not even gonna ask how you know that," Agatha said, closing her book and putting it under the counter.

"I watch you," He confessed. She raised her eyebrows and scoffed at him.

"Cause that's not creepy at all," She said, smiling.

“Aren’t you scared?”

She shrugged. “At this point...” The girl sighed, looking away from his gaze. “You saved my butt today.” She watched Victor chuckle softly. “That guy would’ve probably stabbed me if you weren’t watching.”

The hitman felt… He didn’t know what he felt. Something that was happening quite a lot, recently. But he just didn't care. He liked what he felt.

“Do you want company this time?” He asked with a smile. A real smile.

Agatha smirked. “If I say no, you’ll never leave me alone.”

“Nope.”

She laughed, then sighed. “I’ll grab my coat.”

He tapped his fingers on the table and watched as she entered the locker room.

"How do you know him?!" Was the first thing Emily said to Agatha when the brunette entered the room. She was changing her clothes and it made Agatha uncomfortable.

"Victor? That's a long story," She replied, grabbing her coat and scarf from her little space on the shelf.

"You know he's an assassin, right?"

Agatha stopped her movements and sighed. "Trust me, I do know. But the guy won't leave me alone, what am I supposed to do?"

Emily scoffed and shrugged. "Tell him to fuck off?" She said like it was the easiest thing to do.

The brunette went quiet as she adjusted her bangs, looking at the tiny mirror on the wall.

"I never saw him in person," Emily continued. "He's kinda good looking isn't he?"

Agatha looked at her coworker, frowning. The ginger was with a playful smile on her face and laughed when saw Agatha's face.

She didn’t like Emily’s comment.

"Come on!" She laughed. "You can't deny it!"

Agatha just shrugged, feeling something that made her uncomfortable. She laughed nervously and then sighed, finally grabbing her purse.

"Listen," The girl said. "Be careful here, okay? We were almost robbed."

"What?!" Emily's eyes widened. "Are you okay?!"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Victor stepped in..."

The red headed scoffed. "He saved you! That's cute."

"Stop." Agatha shook her head.

"I'm just messing with ya." The other girl laughed. "Go on, I'll be fine."

Agatha left the room with a strange feeling inside her. She couldn't quite tell what it was, but she knew it bothered her.

 

...

 

"Why are you always surrounded by books?" Victor asked as they sat on a table in a cafe place. "The library, the bookstore..."

Agatha shrugged, grabbing the menu on the table. "I like reading. Working in a place with lots of books is heaven to me."

He smirked at her as she took a look on the menu. Her eyes darted from the menu to him, like if she was suddenly aware he was there.

"What?" She asked, voice cracking.

"You look good today," He replied, smiling and the girl just moved the menu up so it could hide her red face.

Victor chuckled as the waitress came to their table and Agatha quickly ordered her coffee. Victor ordered a muffin and when the waiter was gone, none of them spoke a word.

“Oh,” She broke the silence. “Emily thinks you’re good looking.”

He tilted his head, smiling narrowly at her. “Is that so?”

“Yep. Why don’t you ask _her_ out?” A small smile played on her lips.

The assassin chuckled. “You’re jealous of her.”

Agatha’s smile dropped. “What?!”

“Your jaw tightened when you spoke about her,” Victor said, leaning an elbow on the table. “Your eyebrows did that thing it always does when you’re frustrated and you pursed your lips when you said her name.”

She stared at him, astonished. She lightly touched her jaw, but dropped her hand quickly. He watched her look down, clearly uncomfortable with what he said. He didn’t regretted though. They were in an unbearable and uncomfortable silence until the waitress returned with their orders. Agatha put two sugars in her black coffee and started sipping it. Victor took off his gloves and started picking the pieces of his muffin and eating it. She realized it was the first time she saw Victor without his gloves on.

"Why do you always wear gloves?" The girl asked, suddenly.

"Fashion," He joked, but she didn't laugh. "Why do you always wear button-up shirts?"

He gave her one of his half smiles as she swallowed touching the last button of her shirt, feeling a little uncomfortable with the question. The girl quickly adjusted her posture.

"Why do you always have to smile like that?" She asked back.

"Why do you care?"

They stared at each other for a moment. Victor liked the stubbornness and challenging look in her eyes. It was different in her. It wasn't the same scared and frightened look she always gave him when they first met.

"Why are you being so nice to me lately?"

He shrugged. "I was always nice to you."

"No," Her voice was a whisper. "You weren't always like that."

Victor stared deep into Agatha's eyes. He had no answer to her question because he didn't know. He didn't know why he was being nice to her. He didn't know why he started to have... Certain feelings. He just didn't know.

In an attempt of feeling her touch again, he moved his hand closer to hers. His skin didn't get to feel her touch again like he wanted. Agatha pulled her hand back and looked away from him.

"Did someone touch you the wrong way when you were a little girl?" He blurted out, frowning.

Her eyes went wide and she looked surprised at him. "What?!"

"You don't let anyone touch you,"

"That's not true!"

"Yeah, it is," He said, finishing his muffin. "You only let Jim hug you and even then you don't like it."

She scoffed, feeling offended. "You don't know me."

"Actually, Pumpkin." He leaned over the table. "I know you more than you think I do."

Agatha frowned. "Really?" She looked angrily at him. "Then you should know I don't like when people stick their noses where they shouldn't."

"Of course I know that." Victor smirked at her. "Nobody likes that, actually."

She rolled her eyes.

"I knew it," She mumbled.

"I'm sorry, what was that?" He cupped his ear with his hand, mimicking an old person, whose hearing was turning bad.

"I knew it was too good to be true," She said, louder this time. "After the party, I never wanted to see you again. The things you said to me were repulsing. But then, the dinner happened and I just thought for one _tiny second_ that you weren't as bad as I thought. You made me feel..." She swallowed, hesitated. "You made me feel good. And happy."

He raised his eyebrows. "And that's bad because...?"

"You're a goddamn assassin!" She almost yelled. "A murderer, for crying out loud! It was just a matter of time until you..." She ran a hand on her face. "ruin everything. With that stupid smile and snarky comments and... Personal questions!"

Victor gave her a half smile, not sure if she liked it or not. Maybe even she doesn’t know that.

“So...” He said, after letting her calm down a little. “Someone _did_ touch you.”

“Oh my God.” Agatha started to look for her wallet inside her purse.

“You know talking about it makes you feel better,” He said and she looked annoyed at him.

“Victor, no one touched me!” She exclaimed, taking the money from her wallet.

There it was again. His name coming from her lips. It felt so right and pleasant to his ears.

She left the money on the table along with her coffee cup half empty, and stood up from the table to leave. Victor did the same and followed her outside.

“You know I’m joking, right?” He said, putting his gloves on.

Agatha just huffed and kept walking, ignoring him.

“Pumpkin...”

“Don’t _Pumpkin_ me!” She came to a stop and stared at him. Noticing people at the street started to stare at them, she adjusted her posture and repeated the sentence in a lower voice. “Maybe we shouldn’t see each other anymore.”

The hitman stared into her eyes. She didn’t mean that, she was lying.

“What, because I’m a killer?” He said and watched Agatha take a deep breath. “If you really wanted me away you’d have say those two little magic words a long time ago. But instead, you decided to come to the party. And to dinner. And here.”

She swallowed, feeling the truth burn in her heart. She looked down, a little embarrassed for her tiny tantrum and crossed her arms.

“Thank you,” She said, looking at him. “For today.”

Agatha turned around and started to leave, already knowing she’d see him again. The hitman watched as she left home and smiled at himself.

“Going soft aren’t we?” The feminine voice spoke behind him. He rolled his eyes and turned around to face the girl.

Emily smiled malicious at him.

“This is not what I pay you for,” Victor said, walking away from her.

“You don’t pay me for this!” She started following him. “You pay me for helping you to kill people.”

He turned around to face her again. “Just keep an eye on her, okay?”

The red headed sighed.

“Whatever you say, boss.”


	7. little touches

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry for the long wait and thank you for your patience. I'll try to update more frequently now that I have time. hope you like this chapter :)

“I fucked up.” Jim said as Agatha entered the house. The girl frowned, looking confused at him. He was sitting in his bed with a pack of frozen green peas on his face. When he took it off, she saw the red bruise and the small cuts.

"Oh my God." She dropped her belongings on the floor and ran to him, to tender his wound. "What happened?!"

Jim sighed, avoiding eye contact with her.

"Jimmy..." She pleaded.

He then looked at her. She knew the nickname would affect him, but she'd didn't regret it. She needed to know the truth.

But her brother hesitated. He never did that. When he did, you could tell shit hit the fan.

"I killed Mario," He answered, looking into her eyes.

Agatha did not expect that. Not from Jim. "What?" Her voice was trembling, almost scared.

"He was going to kill Lee." His eyes started to tear up. "I had to do it, I..."

He trailed off and the girl almost sighed, relieved.

_Legit kill._

"Jim..." Agatha’s voice was soft as she sat down on the mattress beside him. "It wasn't your fault..."

"There's more," He told her, swallowing hard. "I swore I'd bring him alive to Falcone."

It was her turn to swallow. "And?"

"He's gonna send someone to kill me."

The girl looked at him for a moment in silence. She didn’t know what to say or what to think.

“I’m not gonna let this happen,” Agatha finally said.

Jim sighed and looked at her, but before he could answer she spoke again. “I can talk to him.”

“Falcone?” He almost laughed. “He’d probably send Victor to kill you too, just to call it even.”

Her stomach dropped. “Victor?” Her voice was trembling.

“Victor Zsasz,” He explained. “Carmine’s personal assassin. I never I told you about him?”

_He wouldn’t… Would he?_

The idea of Victor killing her brother made Agatha feel sick. She knew there was a high probability of Falcone sending him to do it.

“You won’t die,” She said, determined. She watched Jim sigh and open his mouth to speak but she interrupted him. “You’re James Gordon. How many times people wanted you dead?”

“Too many.”

“Exactly. And here you are.”

He looked at her eyes and saw the courage she had. He almost frowned, wondering where all the bravery was coming from. Not that he didn’t like it, but it was something he’d never seen in her. She was always the scary cat, or the cry baby, but never the brave one.

“Look at you,” He said, smiling. “Playing the older sibling part.”

Agatha laughed and rolled her eyes. “We really should hang out more.”

“Sorry, it’s just...”

“Work,” She completed. “I know. I don’t blame you. Gotham needs more men like you.”

Jim smiled, feeling his heart burn with love. He knew that even if everything went wrong with his life, he’d still have her.

“I’m glad you’re here,” He said smiling.

Agatha smirked at her brother. “C’mon, let me patch you up.”

…

"We're not together," Agatha said for the third time.

"I saw you two going out the other day," Emily said, teasing her.

Agatha was putting some new books on the shop window. Emily had arrived early at the store and was making the other girl crazy with the comments about Victor Zsasz.

“That was weeks ago,” She said, rolling her eyes. Damn, she missed the library.

"Why do you go out with him, anyway?" The ginger said, leaning on the balcony. "Why don't you go out with your friends?"

"I have no friends," Agatha said, standing up and looking at her. "One of my friends died in a possible murder and the other one... Is my brother. Which is sad, considering that he's never home, so we almost never hang out."

Emily shrugged. "You have me."

The other girl narrowed her eyes at her and almost laughed. She barely knew her and the fact that Agatha was still grieving Isabella, which made her a little reluctant to make new ones. But Victor couldn't be the only person, who wasn't family, that she hung out with.

"You don't even know my last name," She finally said.

"Gordon," Emily answered.

"Or my birthday," Agatha continued.

"December 27th."

"My favorite color..."

"Probably blue." The read head laughed, looking at Agatha's blue librarian dress.

The girl sighed.

"Listen." Emily approached her and hooked an arm around her neck. The girl was tall so it wasn't particularly hard for her to do it. "How about you and I go out tonight?"

Agatha looked at her dead in the eye. "It's a week day."

"So? Listen, it's just a pub, okay? We don't have to stay 'till four am and drink ‘till we pass out if you don't want to."

"You know I don't drink, right?"

Emily sighed, rolling her eyes and letting Agatha go. "Of course you don't."

Agatha watched as her coworker walked back to the balcony.

"Now I know why he's interested in you," She mumbled, leaning her elbows back to the balcony.

The brunette frowned. "And why's that?"

Emily shrugged, tilting her head. "Well, you're sweet. Innocent. Pure. There's not a lot of girls like you around anymore."

"I could be his type, y'know."

The ginger scoffed and laughed. "Trust me, you're not."

Agatha narrowed her eyes again, and crossed her arms. "How do you know that?"

Emily changed her posture and swallowed hard. Her and her big mouth. She'd forgotten Agatha didn't know she worked for Victor and if the brunette found out, she'd might as well be dead. Opening her mouth to speak, she stuttered.

"I- I..."

The store's doorbell went off and their boss entered it. Saved by the bell. Literally.

"Agatha," The man said. "It's past your shift, what are you still doing here?"

Agatha looked at the wristwatch. 2:07pm. She had to suppress an eye roll. She was almost certain he didn't fancy her, and that was okay anyway. She didn't like him either.

"Sorry, sir," She said, fast walking to the door behind the balcony.

"I won't pay you extra hours for that!"

The man was a tightfisted business man, who almost never showed up at the bookstore and when he did, he'd make his employees' life a living hell. Always with a suit and a scowl on his face.

Agatha grabbed her stuff and gave Emily a quick goodbye, leaving the store. She didn't stop to get her daily afternoon coffee, afraid she'd run into Victor. The last time she saw him, the things he had said to her... It was too real. Agatha didn't want to accept the truth he spat on her face. She didn't want to accept he was right.

If Agatha really wanted Victor gone, she would do something about it. But she didn't want him to leave. Deep in her heart, she liked his company. She didn't like some of the stuff he'd say or what he did for a living, but she felt protected when she was with him. She felt good. Happy.

_Happy._

She felt a certain feeling in her heart she hadn't felt in a while. All those years trying to suffocate the good feelings that might lead her to a heartbreak… Only to the wall she’d built around her heart be destroyed in seconds. And even though she would try and build it again, she’d always find herself thinking about the hitman. Wondering when she’d see him again.

“ _You know he’ll hurt you, right?”_

The voice echoed in her mind and it felt like it was yesterday she’d listen to it the last time. She stopped walking and took a deep, shaky breath.

_I’m not falling for him._

“ _Please. All you think about is him.”_

She hesitantly started walking again, hoping no one noticed her sudden stop.

“Please, stop.” She whispered, very low, for the Voice to hear.

“ _Look at you. Barely out of a heartbreak and already going for another.”_

_Shut up._

Just two more turns, and she’d be home. She could be occupied with stuff and her mind wouldn’t taunt her anymore.

“ _Does Jim know the_ real _reason why you moved to Gotham?”_

One more turn. Agatha started walking faster, almost running, desperately trying to shut it up. Almost tripping at the last turn, she leaned on the wall to catch her breath. And then she spotted him.

Victor was walking down the ramp that lead to her apartment, followed by Carmine Falcone.

“Jim...” She breathed and started running to the door.

Ignoring the ‘ _Miss Gordon’_ from Falcone, she reached the door and saw her brother and detective Bullock inside. Sighing relieved, she went to Jim’s encounter and hugged him tightly.

“It’s okay.” He assured her, wrapping his arms around her. She whimpered, but didn’t say anything. “I’m okay.”

He really did it. Victor Zsasz really tried to kill Agatha’s brother. He didn’t care about how she’d feel, he just went to their place and almost took everything she had.

“ _Told you he was gonna hurt you.”_

When Jim let her go, he saw some tears on her eyes.

“Hey.” He made her look at him. “He let me live. It’s gonna be okay.”

Agatha nodded, without saying a word, afraid she’d burst into tears in front of him and detective Bullock. Taking a look around the house, she saw the damage Victor had done. Bullet holes were everywhere. In the furniture, walls, floors and ceiling. It would take weeks to put everything back together.

“Was that Victor?” She asked, her voice hoarse, just to be sure.

Jim sighed. “Yes. He can be...”

“A maniac,” Harvey completed the sentence. “Bat-shit crazy maniac.”

“ _You wanna know the worse of it all? You have a crush on him.”_

The girl closed her eyes shut and swallowed, trying to tune out the little voice.

“I need...” She started walking to her bedroom. “To be alone.”

Being alone with her own thoughts were the last thing she needed, but it seemed better than looking at what Victor had done to her home.

 

…

 

"I like your sweater," Victor said, looking at Agatha from behind her.

The girl was organizing the price tags on the shelves when he entered the store. She was wearing a sweater with little foxes on them, and an orangey mid-calf skirt. Victor liked her outfit.

Agatha, however, decided to ignore him and continued to do her job. He knew she heard him, her fingers stopped moving once he spoke and her body stiffened. But she didn't turn to look at him, or respond him.

Days had passed since Victor had tried to kill Jim. Hard days, with that little voice inside Agatha's head taunting her. She came to the conclusion that she was better off alone. It was safer. Literally and figuratively.

"Pumpkin," He called her, but she still didn't reply.

Agatha wanted to turn around. She wanted to talk to him. She had been waiting days, weeks, for him to show up.

"Is this about Jim?" He finally asked and she felt her stomach drop. Only then, she turned around to face him.

"What do you think?" She asked, ironically, with a fierce look on her face. Victor liked it. Hell, he liked everything about this girl.

"No?" He joked, smirking.

"You tried to kill him."

"It was nothing personal-"

"It was to me!" She raised her voice, interrupting him. "Do you have any idea of what would happen if you had succeeded?!"

Victor started to approach her once he saw the tears forming in her eyes. She didn't back away from him, so he kept going.

"I would be devastated!" She continued. "He's all I got! And you almost- You almost-"

Agatha felt the air escape from her lungs and Victor held her upper arm, looking at her eyes. And, then, he surprised himself.

He pulled her into a hug.

With her hair tickling his chin, he wrapped the girl in his arms and felt her hands form into fists that grabbed his suit strongly. He felt her cry and sob and didn't care if it was gonna ruin his clothes. He was there for her and that was enough.

"You almost took him away from me," She mumbled into his clothes.

"I know," He responded, pressing his lips to her hair. "I'm sorry."

Agatha's hands relaxed and suddenly all the stiffness in her body was gone. That was all she needed to hear. She hated how easy it was for him to infect her mind again. She backed away from him, just enough to look at his face. Then, realization came to her, and she let go of him. Slowly, her hands pushed his chest away from him, making his arms open for her to leave his embrace.

Agatha tried to make herself presentable as she turned her back to him. She wiped the tear stains and adjusted her hair. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes. She couldn't face him now, she had just had a meltdown in front of him.

_And he was here for me._

Victor was silent, watching her back as she hugged her torso, in a way of comforting herself.

"Do you even care about me, at all?" He heard her ask. Her voice was hesitant and small and it was clear she was afraid of asking, afraid of the answer.

The hitman reached for his jacket pocket and took an envelope from there. He touched her shoulder, making her turn around to face him.

"For your apartment," He said and watched as she took the envelope with a confusing look on her face.

Agatha opened it and saw several 100 dollar bills and her eyes went wide. She looked at him, who was now smiling at her. He was giving money to renovate the apartment. To fix what he had ruined.

"I can't take this," She breathed, handing out the envelope to him.

"Please," He said, approaching her again. "Your salary is comically small and your brother's would barely cover the reform."

She looked into his eyes. There was this one unspoken thing inside of them, and it clicked for Agatha. He did care. He cared about her enough to give her money to fix her apartment. To fix what he had done. It was his way of saying he was deeply sorry.

"Thank you," The words almost didn't make their way through her mouth and she swallowed to not cry again.

Victor smirked at her and turned to leave, until he heard her voice again.

"Wait."

He turned around to face her again.

"Walk me home today?" She asked, giving him a small smile.

Victor smiled at her. "Sure."

Agatha watched him leave with warmth on her heart and a smile on her face.

_“This doesn't change anything. He still tried to kill Jim. He's still a murderer. He will still hurt you.”_

And for the first time in her life, Agatha decided to ignore the voice inside her head.

 

...

 

After the unexpected hug, Agatha had been letting Victor touch her a little more everyday. It was occasionally a hand brushing on her face, or when they were out for coffee, he'd held his hand open on the table for her to hold. She usually did, but only when he took the gloves off.

They talked about everything and nothing. At the same time she was silent, she was also talkative and spontaneous. Sometimes Victor would make small talk and sometimes, he didn't need to. He was visiting her more frequently at work and walked her home, just like before. Agatha felt happy again. When she was with him, she was happy.

The problem was when she was alone.

The Voice was growing louder. It kept telling her horrible things. At the start, it was only about Victor. It would tell her he was going to kill everyone she knew, and leave her alone once he got what he wanted. Then, it got worse. It was getting louder and clear, and more talkative. And the things, oh, the things it would tell her.

_"You're gonna die alone."_

_"You're unlovable."_

_"You can't let anyone in, everybody will hurt you."_

_"Even your brother is getting tired of you. You're a burden."_

Long were the nights where she would cry herself to sleep, trying to ignore It. She tried so hard to focus on the good things, but there was nothing that worked.

The tiredness was starting to wore her out and Victor had noticed that. The bags under her eyes were more and more evident each day. He didn't say anything, however. He kept to himself, hoping she'd get the proper sleep she needed.

One day, when Agatha was sweeping the floors of the store, she saw Emily through the window shop. She was talking to a girl who wore leather clothing and colorful hair. They were on the other side of the street and didn't seem to notice Agatha looking.

_Maybe a new girlfriend?_

But when Emily said goodbye, they didn't kiss. Not even hugged. Agatha wasn't one to stick her nose in other people's business, but this bothered her.

"Hey," The ginger said, as she entered the store.

"Hi," Agatha replied and watched her enter the locker room. She, then, finished her job and left when her shift was done.

On the other day, the same thing. Emily talked to the girl, across the street. She just so... Different. And she didn't see any chemistry between them.

"I thought you said you were single," Agatha brought it up, when Emily entered the bookstore.

The ginger frowned. "I am."

"Oh," Agatha laughed. "I just saw you talking to that girl, I thought she was-"

"Oh, Eve?" The other girl interrupted her. "She's just a friend from wor-"

Emily stopped talking as soon she realized what she was going to say. Swallowing thickly, she shook her head, laughing nervously. Agatha was a little confused at first, but then she noticed.

Emily was hiding something.

"Just a friend from the bar," She finally said and entered the lockeroom quickly.

When Agatha left work, she walked home by herself. Halfway, she noticed someone was following her. She panicked a little, grabbing her phone to call someone, but then she saw it was the girl Emily was talking to earlier. Eve. She didn't looked like she was going to attack Agatha, she was just following the girl. Once she got home, she noticed Eve crossed the street and was watching her.

Locking the door behind her, she walked to Jim's open office window, the one that face the street, and peek out the blinders. Eve was still there, with her phone in her hands.

"Hey!" Jim called Agatha, making the girl jump with her heart beating fast.

"Oh, God, you scared me!" She told him, walking away from the window.

"What were you doing?" He frowned.

"Hey, do you still have that camera you used when you were a PI?"

Jim pretended he didn't notice the abrupt change of subject and told her the camera was at his desk drawer and she proceeded to look for it.

"What are you gonna do with it?" He asked, putting his suit on.

"Y'know." She shrugged. "Take pictures."

"Of what?"

Agatha shrugged again. "Stuff."

He just raised his eyebrows and decided to just ignore the fact she was lying to him. He was tired of confronting her about the lies. He did care about her, but every time he tried to talk about her lying, she’d be mad at him. And really, it wasn’t none of his business, so he tried to keep quiet mostly.

“Okay,” He said, adjusting his tie. “But I think it’s out of film, you might have to buy it.”

The girl just nodded, examining the camera in her hands. It was much heavier than she thought. And bigger. She might have to use a bigger purse, just to take it with her.

“Peanut,” Jim called her, taking her out of her mind and approaching her.

“Huh?”

“There’s some crazy shit happening out there,” He paused, hesitating. “I want you to have this.”

He took a pocket knife from his pocket and handed to her. She didn't take it. She just looked at it, trying to gather the courage to take the knife, because she knew what that meant. It meant that Jim was in some deep shit and couldn’t control it.

"Just aim for the throat, okay? Don't stab. Slash." He said as she grabbed the knife, pressing a small button and watching the blade pop out. "Be careful."

Agatha felt her stomach twist. The idea of using it on someone made her cringe and feel sick. She would never be capable of doing that.

"Jim, what the hell is going on?" She asked, with a concerned frown on her face.

He sighed. "You don't wanna know."

Jim gently put his hand on the back of her neck, bringing her closer, and pressed a kiss into her hair.

And then, he left.

 

...

 

"Damn it." Agatha almost dropped the groceries bag and fumbled with her phone vibrating on her pocket.

She knew she wasn't supposed to be out when it was dark, but she planned on making dinner and she needed some extra ingredients. And the camera film. So she quickly went to the grocery store to buy them. It was only a block away, anyway. She looked to the phone and saw who was calling.

Victor.

She almost smiled, but contained herself, putting the phone back in the pocket of her jeans. He could wait.

When she was almost halfway to her apartment, everything. Every light on the street and on the apartments were out and at first she thought she had collapsed or passed away. Fear invaded her heart and she felt difficult to breathe. Grabbing her phone just as when it started to vibrate again, she answered the call.

"Agatha," Jim said on the other side of the line. "Where are you?"

His voice was urgent and worried, his breath was uneven just as hers and that made her more scared.

"I-I'm going home," She stuttered. "I was at the grocery store. What's happening?!"

"I need you to run home," He told her. "Run. Not walk. Lock the doors and windows."

"Jim? What is happening?!"

"Do you have that knife with you?"

"Yes, its in my pocket."

"You might gonna have to use it."

"Jim..."

"Peanut," He called her by her favorite nickname.

"I'm scared," The tears started filling her eyes and her voice cracked.

"Listen to me," His voice was now firm. "You're strong. You can do this, just run back home and lock the doors. You'll be safe there. I'll try to go home as soon as possible."

She let out a breath, feeling the tears stream down her face. "Okay. I love you."

"I love you too."

Agatha hung up the phone and put it back in her pocket, taking the knife out of it and started walking again. Her legs were shaking too much and if she ran, she would fall. Just as when she was going to turn the last corner, she heard a girl laugh behind her. 

A pair of hands grabbed her shoulders and threw her into the building wall beside her. Agatha fell her back hit the brick wall and all the air escape her lungs. Her groceries were now on the ground and so was her knife. When she looked at her attacker, she saw a blonde girl, just as young as she. The blonde was wearing a white face of makeup and red messed up lipstick on her lips, looking like a crazy clown.

The brunette didn't have time to blink before the girl punch her in the stomach. Agatha tasted vomit on her mouth and tried to swallow it up. And, then, another punch. And another. And another.

The blonde girl laughed hysterically as she kept assaulting Agatha until she was on the ground, trying to breathe and not to puke. She was afraid the girl would started kicking her, but she saw her knife on the ground. She grabbed it just in time to feel the girl's hands pull her up again. This time, the girl raised her fist to punch her in the face, but Agatha was faster.

Craving the knife on the blonde's stomach, she watched as the girl's face changed. Only then, Agatha remembered her brother's words. She took the knife from the girl's stomach and ran the blade through her throat.

Then, all Agatha saw was red.


	8. the kiss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy new year everybody! thank you for you kudos and comments, they really motivate me to keep writing!

Jim had called her once she got home. He told her she wouldn't be able to go home as soon as he expected and she panicked. Agatha almost was paranoid, she knew she couldn't be on her own. Her thoughts were too loud and her own voice was too quiet. She felt her stomach getting sicker with each step she took, checking the doors and windows of her apartment. She checked the bedrooms as well and lit up candles to light the place. 

Her hands were red.

She tried to not pay attention, but she couldn't not see it as she took her phone with trembling hands. Through candle lights, Agatha called the one person she thought she'd never call.

 _"Thought you'd never call back,"_ Victor picked up the phone.

She took a deep breath, trying not to sound desperate.

"I-I'm sorry," She told him. "I..." She breathed. "Can you please come over? Something is going on and I'm..." She started crying again, making her voice break. "I-I'm really scared..."

There was a moment of silence, that felt like ages and then he finally spoke.

_"I'm on my way."_

After what it seemed hours, she heard a knock on her backdoor. Reluctant, Agatha stood up from her bed and slowly walked to the door.

“Agatha.” She heard her name being called.

She knew it was him, but her legs couldn't move.

"It's Victor," He said from the other side of the door.

She breathed, closing her eyes.

"Pumpkin."

Agatha opened the door in one fast move and threw herself into his arms. The act took him by surprise and he wasn't sure what to do at first, but eventually he hugged her back.

It felt nice. The warmth of her body against his, the smell of her shampoo, the texture of her hair brushing on his chin. Victor allowed himself to close his eyes and enjoy the feeling for a moment. And when she pulled away, entering the place again, he saw it.

Bright red blood was splattered all over her sweater. It was already dry, and if he looked closer, he could see bits of blood over her hairline. He knew what had happened immediately. Nobody has blood on their clothes and is not guilty. When she closed the door, he saw her red stained hands shaking.

"You killed someone," He said, without giving her a chance to explain herself.

Agatha tried to breathe. Realization didn't hit her until the moment she heard it coming from his mouth. She killed someone. A girl. Just like her.

"I didn't know what to do, I-I..." Her voice cracked and she started crying again.

He knew she was scared. Vulnerable. But she was alone. And he saw what was happening in Gotham at the moment. He didn't care about it, he wasn't scared of those crazy people out there.

But Agatha... Agatha was a scared kitty. Every loud noise would make her run and hide. And Victor felt the need to be there for her. To help her. He was starting to give into the feeling he had been having for a while. And he didn't care.

He closed the space between them, touching her arm and spoke. "Why did you call me?"

She looked right into his dark eyes. "I was alone."

"What about your brother?"

Agatha hesitated. It was hard for to admit it, specially to him, but she confessed it anyway.

"I... I needed you," She said, embarrassed to look at him. "I wanted you here."

Victor just stared at her for a moment and then chuckled.

"Does my eyes deceive me?" He said, making he girl look at him confused. "Is Agatha Gordon finally... _trusting_ me?"

He saw the corner of her lips curve in a small smile. She looked down, cheeks rose in a way that Victor found cuter with the blood on her face.

"Don't push it," She said in a small voice.

A comfortable silence was in the air for a moment. The hitman wanted to know more about what she did, but decided not to push his luck. At any moment she could tell him to leave and he didn't wanted that.

"Give me your clothes," Victor said suddenly and Agatha's eyes widened. "You don't want your brother to find blood in them, do you?"

The girl inhaled and shook her head, excusing herself to her bedroom. Her hands were still stained with the blood of her attacker, even though she tried her best to clean it in the kitchen sink.

She was still shaking when she put another sweater over her head and some pajama pants. Victor was still standing in the kitchen when she came out of her room, patiently waiting for her. Agatha walked to the kitchen and put her stained clothes on a plastic bag and set it on the table. She couldn't stare at him. Not after of what she confessed. Not after admitting she trusted him. She didn't even know that until he said it.

Victor was staring at her. For some reason, she felt like he wasn't the same person he was when she met him. All the sarcastic and inappropriate comments were now gone and she realized she might be getting to know the real Victor Zsasz. 

The hitman, already with his gloves off, approached her slowly.

"You've got blood on your forehead," He mumbled, really low. He took liberty of grabbing the wet rag from the sink Agatha was using to clean herself.

The cold water touched her skin but it was nothing compared to his touch. His hands were warm despite the cold weather in the house. She closed her eyes for a moment, letting herself feel his touch. When he was done, she opened them to find him staring deeply into her eyes. One of his hands was still holding her face and she felt him brush it across her skin.

He gently felt her soft skin on his hands and moved it to the side of her neck, pulling her towards him. He noticed her breath was suddenly unsteady, and watched as she swallowed hard, wetting her lips with her tongue.

"I should get going," Victor said in a low voice.

Agatha felt his hand slipping away from her and held his arm in place.

"Victor," She whispered. He didn't answer. He knew what she'd say, he knew it since the moment he stepped into her apartment. "Please... _Stay_."

It was just a split of second before it happened. That tiny moment where everything goes through your head, when you think of nothing but everything at the same time. Agatha had that split of second before feeling his other hand quickly hold the back of her head. Then, it was all at once.

He kissed her.

He kissed her and the second his lips touched hers, she felt her heart beating faster. A thousand symphonies played inside her head. She saw colors. She felt... Relieved. Complete.

 _Happy_. 

The kiss was suddenly intense and she felt the air escape her lungs as she parted her lips from his, grabbing his collar. Victor's nose touched hers and she breathed, trying to keep it calm.

"Sorry, Pumpkin," He said without moving a muscle. "I couldn't help it."

"Holy shit," She breathed, making him chuckle. "I just kissed a hitman."

Agatha's hands moved to his neck, craving skin on skin contact, and pulled him closer, kissing him once more. Victor's hands trailed towards her hips, as he walked with her and pressed her against the wall, intensifying the kiss in a way she couldn't keep up. His long fingers made their way to under her sweater but before he could touch her, Agatha quickly broke the kiss and held his hands in place, breathing heavily.

"Too fast?" He whispered, their foreheads touching and eyes closed.

"Too fast," She repeated.

Victor's lips touched her forehead and he backed away from her.

"Does that mean you're staying?" She asked with a playful smile.

_Please don't smile like that._

Now that the barrier between them was broken, there were _things_ he wanted to do with her. She had no idea of how long he wanted to be able to kiss her like that. To touch her. To make her his. There was so much he still wanted do but instead, he just smiled at her.

Victor had no idea of what it would be from now on, but he didn't care.

He just didn't give a fuck.

...

Agatha woke up with the cold wind making her shiver. Trying to open her eyes, she groaned when felt an annoying pain on her back. Sleeping on the couch wasn't a good idea.

"Morning," Jim said, entering the living room. The girl looked at him standing behind her.

"Jim," She mumbled and tried to sit on the couch.

"Why'd you sleep here?"

She frowned, remembering of the night before. Victor and her sat on the couch, making out for a while and then they just talked. She read a book with her feet on his laps and he just watched her as she drifted to sleep. Agatha didn't remember getting a pillow and a cover though, so she assumed he did that favor for her. She almost smiled at the thought of the hitman going to her bedroom to fetch the pillows and covers to make her warm.

_"That doesn't change anything."_

Her heart dropped. With everything that happened on the night before, she thought the voice was gone. She thought maybe because she was happy back then, it would leave her alone.

"Agatha?" Jim called, pulling her out of her thoughts.

She stood up and wrapped her arms around his waist. Jim quickly hugged her back, still haunted by the things he had seen last night.

"I'm sorry," He said, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. She let him go and looked at him confused. "I should've been here for you."

"Oh," she replied.

"Oh, Jim," She said when saw the broken-hearted look on his face. She laced her hands behind his neck and hugged him tight. He buried his face on her shoulder, holding back tears. "It's okay."

They stood like that for a moment, and when they finally broke the hug, Jim spoke.

"You have no idea how fucked up things were last night."

Agatha sighed. "You never told me what happened..."

"You don't wanna know," He replied, walking back to the kitchen. "Trust me."

The girl followed her brother. "Why not?"

"Did you have someone over last night?" He asked, suddenly.

Agatha's stomach twisted and she straightened her posture. How the hell did he know?

"Huh?" She answered, thinking of what to say.

He picked up an empty glass of milk from the sink. "You don't drink milk."

_Goddammit, Victor._

She was silent, wondering if she should tell him. "I, um... Yes..."

Jim frowned at first, but smiled. "Your boyfriend?"

"He's not my boyfriend!" She exclaimed and he laughed like if they were kids teasing each other.

"Well, I'm glad he was here for you." He put the glass back in the sink and she was glad he didn't ask anything else. "You know what's funny?"

"Hm?" She raised her eyebrows.

"Zsasz drank our milk last time he was here."

Agatha swallowed, trying not to give in to her anxiety. "Who?" Her voice was small.

"Victor Zsasz. The hitman Falcone sent to kill me a few weeks ago."

"Oh."

"We need to lock our fridge next time." Jim laughed and she faked a laugh.

She didn't want to know what would Jim do if he knew the hitman was in his apartment again. To him or to her. She knew her brother wasn't violent, he would do nothing to her. Now, to Victor...

 _"Maybe this whole thing was a bad idea,"_ the voice said inside her mind. _"Maybe you shouldn't have kissed him. Jim will find out about it. And then he'll kick you out and you'll be homeless. Cause Victor won't want you close to him. Cause he just feel sorry for you. He doesn't care about you at all."_

"Agatha!" Jim called her, bringing her back to reality.

"Huh?"

"I said I'm gonna have to go back to the station."

"Oh, again?" She frowned. "It's Sunday."

"Lots of dead bodies," he replied, sighing and Agatha felt another twist in her stomach, remembering the events of last night. "Sorry, Peanut."

Jim didn't give a chance to her to respond and kissed her head, leaving immediately after. Agatha was alone again.

Figuring the power was already back, she decided to take a shower. As the warm water ran down her body, memories of the last evening happenings were playing like a movie inside her mind.

_"Cool, you have a camera," Victor said, picking the camera from Jim's desk._

_"It's my brother's," Agatha replied, laughing. "It's out of film, though."_

_A sudden flash blinded her, followed by his laugh. "You sure about that?"_

_She couldn't see his face for a moment, the light still blinding her; when his image finally was clear in front of her, she saw him pointing the camera at her again. This time, she could protect her eyes from the flash._

_"Stop!" She complained but laughed when he took a picture of himself, smiling and putting a thumb up._

_"Now, the film is gone," He said, shrugging and putting the camera back at Jim's desk._

_Agatha leaned on the wall, watching him as he took another look around the house. She had a smile on her face that faded slowly as her mind wandered._

_"What?" He asked when caught her looking._

_She took a deep breath and Victor started closing the distance between them. Only when he was so close he could lean a hand on the wall behind her, she spoke._

_"I want you to teach me." Her voice was nothing more than a whisper._

_His hand brushed her cheek. "Teach you what, Pumpkin?" His voice was hoarse and low._

_"To protect myself."_

_Victor looked her in the eye and moved his hand to the side of her neck, brushing his thumb across her skin._

_"You sure about that, baby?"_

_She closed her eyes, almost smiling at the nickname. A single tear came out of the corner of one of her eyes and she tried to control herself, but the images of the girl who beat her up wouldn't go away. She felt so scared at the time._

_Feeling Victor's thumb wipe the single tear, she just nodded._

Drying her damp hair with a towel, Agatha looked at herself in the mirror and sighed, trying not to smile at the memory. As she blew dried her hair, she remembered the way he called her 'baby'. Everything felt so surreal to her. Victor wasn't the same man she met at the police station. And she couldn't even believe she was scared of him one day.

 _"Yeah, but remember Isabella?"_   The voice said. _"She was in love and now she's_ _five_ _foot under."_

"Nygma didn't kill her," Agatha said out loud.

 _"You don't know that,"_ It answered.

It had a point. At Isabella's funeral, Edward hadn't shed a tear for her. People grieve in many different ways, though.

_"The point is you're better off alone."_

Agatha turned the blow drier off and closed her eyes, sighing.

_"Or do you really think he cares about you?"_

"He does care about me," The girl mumbled. "Now shut up."

_"You sure about that?"_

"Who are you talking to?" Victor asked, showing up at her door out of nowhere.

"OHMYGOD!" Agatha dropped the blow drier and jumped away from the mirror, almost falling to the floor. He just chuckled and she looked at her confused.

"Your backdoor was unlocked," He explained, pointing his thumb behind him.

The girl just breathed, putting a hand over her chest. “You scared the blue out of my jeans.”

He chuckled at her choice of words. “Sorry, Pumpkin.”

The girl breathed again and put herself back together.

"Seriously though, you should lock your backdoor," He insisted, entering her room.

"Well, I wasn't the last one to leave last night," Agatha replied, grabbing the blow drier from the floor. "By the way, you might not wanna leave empty glasses of milk around. Jim now knows I had _someone_ over."

He frowned. "You could've just said it was yours." He approached her.

"That would be a perfect lie, if I actually drank milk." She looked at him and put her hands on her waist.

"What are you, lactose intolerant or something?"

She shrugged. "No, I just don't like the taste of it."

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah, it tastes like nothing," She continued without realizing Victor had his hand on the side of her body. "Just like water but denser..."

She trailed off when saw him looking at her. With a smirk, she looked at the ground, cheeks red. The hitman pulled her closer until their bodies were touching and both felt their hearts skip a beat.

"What are you doing?" Agatha asked in a small voice.

"I'm trying to kiss you," Victor answered, smirking.

She raised her eyebrows, but smiled too. "Why?"

"Because I want to."

The girl laughed and stood on her toes to press her lips against his. The kiss was simple, more delicate than the last night's and Victor could feel what he'd been feeling all those weeks. That feeling he couldn't quite put a name on it. He felt an electricity through his whole body and when she broke the skin contact, he grabbed her face and kissed her again, desperate for more. The touch of her skin made him feel strangely relaxed. Comfortable. It was almost like he was an ordinary man who didn't need to kill for money, who wasn't involved with the mob and wasn't a psycho killer.

"Are you ready?" He asked when broke the kiss, eyes still closed, his mouth still mere centimeters away from hers.

"Yeah," Agatha told him, stepping back and smirking. "Just let me put on my sweater."

He watched her as she finished getting dressed and put her hair up in a ponytail.

At the diner, they ate breakfast and talked for a while before actually going into the subject.

"I'm proud of you," Victor said, as she finished her coffee. The girl frowned and put the mug down.

"Why?" She asked, curious.

"You killed someone," He explained and saw how uncomfortable she was, looking down and taking a deep breath. After making sure no one was paying attention to them, she rested her arms on the table again.

"I don't think that's something to be proud of," She told him, in a whisper.

"Well, it takes guts to do it."

Agatha frowned. "You sure you're not just saying this cause you do it for money?"

Victor chuckled, taking her hand in his.

"So... Guns or knives?"

 

...

 

_The girl with dirty blonde hair laughed as she punched Agatha once more in the stomach. It was hard for the brunette to finally reach her pocket knife but when she did..._

_Blood was everywhere. In her clothes, her face, her hands. The girl was gargling, desperate trying to breathe but it was too late. The red thick blood was now on the street floor, making its way to the highway. And the girl was gone. Her lifeless body lay on the ground, her face against the pavement and that's when Agatha started to cry._

_She had taken a life. The girl was someone's daughter, someone's sister. She probably had a family or at least friends who cared about her. And Agatha had taken her from them._

_In the distant, she heard a police siren and she tried to run, leaving everything behind. But her legs didn't seem to work. She could see home, but it was far, the floor was getting slippery and her legs moved so slow. The cops behind her were fast, though, and quickly caught her, pushing her to the ground and holding her head like she was some kind of dangerous animal._

_"Agatha Gordon," She heard the voice of her own brother. "You're under arrest. For homicide."_

_The girl closed her eyes and felt a tear escape. When she opened them, she had a black and white stripped uniform and was among crazy people. A crazy maniac laugh echoed the place as she saw the faces of horror. Screams and moans and whimpers. It was all she heard._

_"It seems like you and I aren't so different after all."_

_The voice was loud and clear, echoing the place. Barbara Kean gave her a smug smile and approached Agatha._

_"Sister in law."_

Agatha woke up with a sharp gasp and sweat on her face. Her bedroom felt like an oven, even though the temperature outside was so low, she could almost see snow. Kicking the covers that were making her sweat, she looked over the window. Through the thin curtains, she could see it was still dark outside.

Sighing, she climbed out of the bed and went to the kitchen, being careful not to wake Jim up. Grabbing a glass from the cabinet, she filled it with water and drank it. The images of the weird dream were still fresh on her mind. She'd been having similar dreams for weeks. Always with the girl she had killed.

A month had passed since then. A month since she took a life. The feeling of guilt was eating her. She tried to keep her mind occupied so the Voice wouldn't haunt her. It worked, sometimes. But it didn't in the most of them.

Even Jim noticed his sister was different in the last few weeks. She hadn't been sleeping well, and he knew that because he'd hear her walk to the kitchen every night. He was starting to be worried, but whenever he would try to talk to her, she'd just diverted the subject. Always asking if he was okay. Always trying to take care of him.

Agatha stared at nowhere in particular and spaced out. She'd been having target practice with Victor, everyday after work. Her brother was too busy to notice she was gone from 2 to 6pm. Not that she cared, she enjoyed her time with Victor. She was getting better at it. Ever since the first time, the hitman knew she was a natural. He taught her how to properly hold a fire weapon, how to carry it; he taught everything she needed to know.

He even gave her a gun. A small glock 19. Not that she knew the difference between guns, but she was grateful he did that. Guns were better than knives.

A shiver ran down her skin and she trembled with the cold. Quickly, she finished her water and came back to her room. Not ready to go back to sleep, she sat on the bed and lit her lamp. The clock marked two in the morning and she sighed as she grabbed a book, putting the blankets over herself again.

She read for an hour or so before falling asleep again.

 

...

 

Agatha didn't see Emily talk to Eve anymore. Every time the brunette tried to bring the subject up, the ginger would just change it. She'd talk about anything else or even pretended she didn't listen. Which was rude.

Coincidentally, she didn't see Eve as well. She noticed someone followed her home everyday. It was a different person every time, a different girl each day. But they had something in common. The way they dressed was peculiar. She considered telling Victor, but the girls were doing nothing to hurt her. They just followed her home and stood in front of her apartment complex for a while. One particular evening, there was a dark skinned girl, with pink short hair and leather clothes following her home. When Agatha got home, she peeked through the curtains and saw the girl on the other side of the street, leaned on a black car. She quickly grabbed her camera and looked through it, zooming to see it better.

"What are you doing?" Jim said, coming out of the bathroom.

Agatha jumped in her place, almost dropping the camera. "GOD!" She exclaimed. "What is up with you people walking like cats?!!"

He frowned but smiled.

"Next time cough or something."

Jim let out a loud laugh and sighed. "Do you still have that pocket knife I gave you?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Nothing." He grabbed his coat and started putting it. "Just be careful when you leave, there's a wave of crime going on."

"Oh."

"Love you." He said, before leaving through the front door but Agatha stopped him.

“Wait,” She said. “Come home for dinner?”

She gave him a smile and a shrug hoping her brother would get home soon tonight.

He just sighed again. “I’ll try, Peanut.”

She nodded, a little disappointed. It’s been days that Jim was getting home late and that really frustrated Agatha. She liked having her brother around. She liked having dinner with him. The girl ran to the window again, after locking the door behind her brother and saw Jim enter his car as the black girl, who followed Agatha home, was looking at her phone. Probably texting. Then, another girl joined her and Agatha froze in her place.

It was Emily. Although she was dressed differently, the brunette could recognize her. She quickly grabbed the camera and started snapping photos of them together. They weren't dating, Agatha could tell. They barely touched since the ginger arrived. So, Emily was "working" with those girls that were following Agatha home.

Then, suddenly it hit her.

_"You don't even know my last name," She finally said._

_"Gordon," Emily answered._

_"Or my birthday," Agatha continued._

_"_ _December 27th_ _."_

_"My favorite color..."_

_"Probably blue."_

Agatha didn't tell Emily those things. Yet, somehow, the ginger already knew everything about her. Something was off. Why would her coworker be working with the girls that followed her home?

Unless someone is their boss. Someone told them to keep following her... But why? and who?

Maybe someone wanted to disturb her, because of Jim? Some wicked person Jim had put in jail was out and was trying to taunt them.

Then, a thought crossed her mind. She ran back to her room and looked for the file she had taken from the library. The one with newspaper articles about Victor Zsasz. She remembered seeing a picture, a bad quality picture, of him and some girls that worked for him.

Peeking through the curtains again, she saw them still there and compared the picture with them. She couldn't see their faces in the picture, but she could see the way they dressed was practically the same.

Then she saw Victor. Outside her apartment. Talking to Emily and the girl. They weren’t talking like they had just met. They were talking like they knew each other for ages. Emily laughed, Victor smiled. They talked and Agatha took pictures of everything. She wasn’t mad. Just confused. So confused she was gone before Victor could ring the bell.

She needed some time away from him. From them. From everything.


	9. Uncle Frank

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this last year and I felt so useless because I hated it. I hated the way this story is going. And I don't know why I felt this way until I read some post on tumblr about comments on fanfics. And it made so much sense. I noticed I actually feel unmotivated when people comment "please update soon!". Weird, huh? So I started to think about it and I finally got it right. When people comment that, I feel like I have an obligation to do. I feel like I HAVE TO write another chapter because people are waiting for it. I feel like I hate to write for other people. And that's not I want. I wanna write for myself, because I actually enjoy it. That's why I started writing another story (not Gotham related) and I have 15 chapters ready already without posting it. I noticed I like to write for myself and not to other people read and comment and say nice things about it. I'm thinking about finishing this story before I post any other chapter. It might take a while, but it might work. I don't expect for you to stick around and wait, I really don't. Like I said, I'm doing this for myself, because I feel happy when I write for myself. I don't expect for you to comment nice things on this chapter either. I understand what is to love someone's work and to be anxious for more.
> 
> I will continue to write this story, don't worry. I was reading some of the next chapters and I caught myself smiling like a dumbass because it might be the best one I've ever written.

_"Meet me at the park?"_  Was the text Victor got when Agatha didn't show up for the self-defense class one day.

He pulled over the car and looked at the park she liked to take a walk sometimes. He knew that because she'd always invite him and he'd never say yes. Not because he didn't want to spend his time with her, but because he didn't want other people to see her with him. He worked for the mob for too long and learned the hard way relationships never ended up well.

But he didn't know what made him move and get in a car to meet her. Maybe he was worried she didn't show today. Maybe. Maybe he just wanted to see her.

And there she was. Sitting on a bench, observing the people around and smoking a cigarette.

_Bad sign._

Agatha never smoked, unless in extreme situations. Not even Victor had seen her smoke until that day.

He liked her outfit. A black skirt with a grey sweater and black flats. A trench coat. She was wearing sunglasses, even though the sky was gray. Victor sat beside her, without saying a word and took the cigarette from her hand, taking a drag for himself.

"You need to hire better staff," She said not looking at him. He looked confused at her as she handed an envelope to him.

Inside of it, there were numerous pictures of the girls he sent to follow her home. All in the same position, waiting leaned on the black car across the street. Victor looked through the pictures and saw some of them were in different places. Like outside the bookstore, Agatha managed to snap some pictures of Emily talking to the girl who used to follow her home. In some of them, there was even Victor talking to them.

The hitman chuckled. "How long have you known?"

"A week." She sighed and then finally looked at him.

"Are you mad?"

Agatha sighed again, taking the cigarette back from him. "Not anymore." She took a drag. "I was mostly because of Emily. You know she has a big mouth, right?"

He chuckled again. "Fucking Emily."

They were in silence for a while and then Agatha spoke again.

"I quit my job."

Victor looked at her, frowning. He knew she didn't love that bookstore but he thought she liked working there.

"Why?" He asked, after a few seconds.

She shrugged. "My boss was a jerk."

"Did he do something?" His voice was lower, more serious.

"You mean besides giving me a shit salary?" She replied, blowing the smoke in the direction the wind was blowing.

Victor gave her one of his half smiles. "When did you become so sassy all of sudden?"

The girl smiled back at him. "I started hanging out with you."

His smile grew bigger and he grabbed her face to press his lips against hers. It was quick, but intense. Agatha let out a chuckled and sighed again.

"How did you do it?" He asked, putting the picture back in the envelope.

"Did what?" She looked at him, throwing the cigarette butt on the ground and using her flat to put it out.

"Hired someone to take pictures of us without me noticing..."

She laughed. "I didn't hire anyone. I took these myself. With my brother's camera."

He raised his eyebrows in surprise. " _You_ did this?!"

She nodded.

"You followed us and took these pictures and I didn't notice a thing?!"

"Yes! It was quite easy actually."

"You're good at this... Ever thought about being a P.I.?"

The girl let out a laugh. "I like books. Not snooping into other people's lives."

Victor watched her for a moment, smirking and proceeded to take his gloves off. Agatha looked at him as he opened his hands for her to hold. He knew she liked skin on skin contact, at least with him. He knew she wasn't much for physical contact, actually. But she felt different when touching him, he supposed.

He hoped she felt the same electricity as him. He hoped she felt as amazing as he felt.

 

...

 

"Agatha," Jim called her when she got home.

"That's me!" She locked the door behind her.

"Where were you?" He frowned as he stood up from his seat in the kitchen. Only then, she noticed someone else in their house. The man had his back turned to her and when he stood from his seat, she knew exactly who he was.

"At the park," She replied, not taking her eyes off of Uncle Frank.

"Really?" The older man said. "With this weather?"

Agatha swallowed hard and felt like crying, although she didn't know why.

"I like cold weather." Her voice was small.

"You remember Uncle Frank, right?" Jim smiled and motioned to Frank.

The girl cleared her throat. "I forgot, uh..." She cleared her throat once more. "I have to go back, I forgot..."

Struggling with the lock, she managed to get out, ignoring the protests of her brother. Walking down the ramp, she ran to the streets and pulled her phone out of her purse.

She was on the verge of tears when he picked up.

"Hi, sorry," She started and then sobbed. "Can you please come back and pick me up?"

 _"I'll be there in five,"_ Victor answered and made a U-turn, to go back to Agatha's apartment.

Victor found her a couple blocks away from her apartment. She looked calmer than before but her face showed signs she had been crying. He honked at her and she immediately got into his car.

He drove away for a few minutes, not really sure where to go. Not really sure why she was so shaken.

“Where do you wanna go?” The hitman broke the long silence.

Agatha slightly shook her head, biting her lips and trying not to cry. The emotions she was feeling were weird. She didn’t know why, but all she wanted to do was curl up into a ball and cry.

“Just...” She sighed. “Far away from here.”

“How about my place?” He teased, raising his eyebrows and grinning at her. The girl just looked at him, dead in the eye. “I’m joking, Pumpkin.”

His hands made their way to touch her knee, but she flinched back fast. It wasn’t intentional. She just… Flinched. Victor noticed discomfort in her body language and decided not to push it.

After a long drive, Agatha noticed Victor was taking her to somewhere they already had been.

“The Falcone’s?” She asked, a bit nervous. “I don’t think I’m welcome there anymore, not after Jim-”

“Relax!” He interrupted her. “Carmine is out of the country.”

“And you’ve been staying here?” She asked as he turned the car off.

“No, I stay in _my_ place. Every night,” He said, looking at her.

Agatha noticed the little bit of frustration in his voice. She knew he wanted to take her to his home, but she just… Wasn’t ready yet. She knew what was going to happen at the moment she’d set her foot at his place and, to be quite honest, she didn’t know if he was just going to hit and run. She looked down and unbuckled her seatbelt.

“Sorry,” Her voice was small.

Victor felt something in his chest. Something he didn’t like.

She followed him inside. Agatha was, again, enchanted with the place. It felt like a fairytale to her. A big house, paintings on the wall, fancy carpets and furniture. The girl noticed the house was empty. There were no people working like last time. No cooks, maids or waitresses. She figured Victor had already been there when Carmine wasn’t. She didn't want to think if he brought other girls there. Suddenly, all insecurities Agatha felt when she was starting to like Victor came back.  
  
"What do you want to eat?" Victor asked, pulling her out of her thoughts.  
  
The girl shook her head, shrugging. "What do you have?"  
  
"Nothing," He replied. "But I can make us something."  
  
"Don't bother, I'm not hungry anyway."  
  
Agatha sat on the stool and put her hands on her head. Victor watched her for a moment and then approached her, sitting on the stool in front of her.  
  
"Agatha," He called her name and the girl raised her head to look at him. "You wanna tell me what upset you back there?"  
  
She avoided his gaze, sighing and swallowing hard.  
  
"I don't know," Her voice was small, full of shame.  
  
"What do you mean?" Victor frowned.  
  
"I don't know what happened," She repeated looking at him. "I just got home and..." She let out a breath. "Jim was there with... My uncle..."  
  
He frowned as she trailed off. "Your uncle?"  
  
"My uncle Frank. He was there and I looked at him and I felt... I don't know. Weird. I wanted to cry and my body was taken by fear, and I'm not sure why." The tears started rolling down her cheeks. "I don't know what happened, I just-"  
  
She let a sob out. The hitman was by her side in a second. Holding her close to him, he leaned his chin on her head and let her cry. Because he knew exactly what had happened. This uncle Frank had done something to her and her mind was blocking it. Her body remembered but her mind didn't.  
  
Frank might have done something to her, and Victor was going to find out what.

  
  
...

 

  
Victor ended up making pasta since Agatha told him it was her favorite food. The girl was impressed by the man's cooking skills. He joked about knowing how to do other things besides killing for money and she laughed. At least she wasn't crying anymore.  
  
"I'm going to be next door, so if you need anything..." He said as they stood by a guest room. It was already dark and probably late. They were talking so much after dinner that they didn't see the sun setting and the moon rising.  
  
Agatha nodded giving him a tiny smile. She watched him turn around and walk away. No touches. No kiss.  
  
"Victor," She called him and he looked over his shoulder. "Thank you."  
  
Victor gave her a half smile before entering his room. Agatha did the same and closed the door.  
  
The bedroom looked the same as the one she stayed for the first time. Sighing, she walked to the dresser and found some nightwear. She wasn't going to sleep in her clothes, so she figured it was the best option.  
  
She took her time taking a shower and considered filing the tub to take a bath, but she was so tired she was afraid she was going to sleep in it.  
  
After the shower, she looked at her phone for the first time in a while and noticed there were several missed calls. All from Jim.  
  
_“_ _Hey, Peanut.”_ She listened to his voice on the voice message he had left her. _“Listen, I don't know what happened just now, but you won't pick up and I'm starting to get worried. Call me, please.”_  
  
She deleted the message and proceeded to listen to the next one.  
  
_“_ _So you still haven’t come back or called me. I don't want to think the worst, so please call me. Or text me.”_  
  
_Next._  
  
_“_ _Okay, so at this point, I know you're not gonna call. Uncle Frank and I will be going on a small trip to catch up. I'll leave the key under the small vase by the back door. Please text me when you hear this."_ There was a small pause before he sighed. _“I love you.”_  
  
Agatha sighed and decided to let him know she was okay. She texted him an _'im ok'_ and put the phone on the nightstand.  
  
The bed felt comfortable and she fell asleep at the moment her head hit the pillow.  
  
It didn't take long for her to wake up in a cold sweat and panting like she ran a marathon. Tears formed in her eyes and she quickly got out of the bed. Walking down the hallway, she carefully opened the door and entered Victor's bedroom. She didn't care if what she was doing was out of limits. She needed him. He was asleep, with his back turned to her and his hand under the pillow. Slowly, she pulled the covers and tried to lay beside him.  
  
Tried.  
  
Victor didn't give her a chance and quickly got out of bed, grabbing her neck with one hand and pushing her against the wall. On the other hand, he had a knife that went straight to her neck. The look in his eyes was terrifying. But once he realized it was Agatha, he immediately dropped the knife and softened the look in his eyes.  
  
The girl was almost crying and sweating when he said her name in a whisper and put his hands on the side of her face. Touching his forehead on hers, he pulled her into a hug and she buried her face in his chest and took a deep breath.  
  
"I just had a nightmare," She said, her voice muffled.  
  
She felt like a child and regretted going to his room, but she really didn't feel like being alone. Not in a house that big. That empty. She felt safer with him, even though the danger was only in her mind.  
  
"Do you want to stay?" His voice was low.  
  
Agatha nodded and he let her go, allowing her to lie on his bed. He did the same, lying beside her, while she was on her side, facing the other side of the room. She couldn’t bring herself to face him. Not with that little voice screaming in her head, telling her to leave his room.

He laid beside her on his back while she was on her side, facing the other side of the room. She couldn't bring herself to face him, not because he had almost killed her seconds ago. She was embarrassed she had to come over and literally lie on the same bed as him to being able to sleep. And she was about to be even more embarrassed.

"Victor?" Her voice was just a whisper but there it was. His name felt so right rolling out of her tongue and Victor would never get tired of hearing it.

"Yes?" He answered after a moment.

"Can you, please..." She hesitated. "Hug me?"

Victor frowned. "What?"

Agatha sighed. "Please..."

He didn't let her finish her sentence and came close to her, hugging her torso from behind and burying his face on the back of her neck. He felt her body instantly relax and heard a sigh come out of her lips. They never got this close, to each other. Their skin touching, their breaths in sync.

"You're soft," he mumbled into her skin.

The girl let out a tired chuckle. "Thanks."

Together, they fell into a peaceful slumber and Agatha had no nightmares that night.

 

...

 

When Victor woke up, Agatha was no longer in bed with him. He sat up and looked around, his hand going immediately to the knife under the pillow. He jumped out of the bed and realized someone was in the bathroom.

Agatha opened the bathroom door and found Victor standing awkwardly in front of her with one hand on his back. She frowned at him and he smiled at the view of her confused face. The messy hair and the _'I just woke up'_   face. He took a step towards her and grabbed the back of her neck with the hand he wasn't hiding the knife and pressed his lips against hers.

Agatha was caught by surprise and almost gasped into his lips, but then, sighed. His strength brought her towards the bed and she lay down, him on top of her, casually slipping the knife under the pillow again.

The kiss got more intense, his hunger growing more and more each second. His hands traveled through the sides of her body as his mouth moved to her jaw. She sighed, closing her eyes and felt the electricity rushed through her whole body.

"Victor," She sighed as his lips trailed off to her neck.

She came to her senses once his hand raised her pajama shirt and tried to touch her breasts. Gasping like he had hurt her, she grabbed his wrist and tried to back away from him.

"Stop!" She cried out and he stopped his actions.

Victor looked at her surprised and she quickly sat on the bed.

"Sorry, I-I just-"

"Don't be," He interrupted her, sitting on the bed in front of her. "You don't have to apologize for that."

He reached for her face and she sighed, feeling the electricity on her skin.

"I'm just not ready yet," She muttered.

Victor was quiet for a moment. A million thoughts went through his mind, but he decided to shove them away. The question would have to wait for now. He approached her and touched her forehead with his lips. A simple and light movement, but it meant the world to her.

After changing into their normal clothes, Victor drove Agatha to her apartment and decided to stay with her for a moment. He had a weird feeling about leaving her alone. She entered her house and excused herself to take a shower. After a long dreadful time, Victor growing bored, she made lunch for them. It was the first time she had the apartment to herself and she decided to enjoy it.

He offered to clean the dishes as Agatha, now feeling a lot better, sat on the couch, grabbing a book to read.

It didn't take long until the doorbell rang. The girl eyed the hitman, who just had finished washing the dishes. He nodded at her, taking one of his guns out of his holster and walking behind her.

Agatha opened the door, just enough to see who was, without letting the person at her door notice Victor just behind it. The girl gasped and frowned in confusion, swallowing hard.

Edward Nygma smiled maliciously at her.

"Hello, Agatha Gordon," He greeted her with a low voice. The girl swallowed again.

"Mr. Nygma!" She tried to sound not scared. She had never spoken more than three words to him and now he was standing at her door with an evil smirk and a green suit. "What- what can I help you?"

His smile grew bigger. "Jimmy home?"

She took a deep breath, making sure to remember that Victor Zsasz was there to protect her.

"No, um, he just... Left..."

Before Ed could say another word, Victor opened the door all the way and revealed himself, smirking at the man. Nygma’s reaction was priceless.

“Can we help you?” The hitman asked, voice dragged in each word.

Nygma swallowed hard and took an envelope from his suit pocket. “I believe this belongs to you, Miss Gordon.”

Agatha hesitantly took the envelope and recognized the handwriting. It was Isabella’s letter. The girl’s eye immediately watered and she tried to contain herself.

“So,” Ed continued. “Where did you say Jim go?”

She needed a moment and a squeeze on her shoulder from Victor to respond. “He’s… out of town.”

“Oh.” The sound of disappointment came out of his mouth and shook his head, thinking. “I might have to improvise, then. Well!” He raised his voice and Agatha jumped. “Good day, Miss Gordon. Mister Zsasz.”

Nygma started to walk away, but Agatha called him, leaving the house and ignoring Victor’s protest.

“Wait!” She said, and the man turned around to face her. “Did you find who killed her? Isabella...”

Ed’s face fell. “Yes,” His voice was suddenly low and hoarse. “I killed them.”

Victor saw Agatha take a deep breath and nod.

“Good.”


	10. almost there

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry it took so long to update??? this has been sitting in my drafts since april and tbh i wanted to finish writing chapter 11 to post this, but i couldn't find the motivation :/ anyway, someone left a very nice comment in this fic recently that warmed my heart, so i decided to update just for them <3

Eventually, Jim Gordon had to go back home. And so Uncle Frank. Agatha spent these days either out with Victor, or hiding in Falcone’s mansion. Victor had assured her that the old man was out of the picture and wouldn’t be coming back for a long time. Her brother had messed him up pretty bad.

Jim knew she was with a man. He knew something was wrong with her, but every time he tried to call or talk to her, she’d just shut him off. Always in a hurry, always leaving or busy. She never had time for him or Uncle Frank. In fact, she avoided their uncle. She wouldn’t even look at him.

After Agatha’s panic attack, Victor tried asking her what was the problem, but she wouldn’t budge. Actually, not even _she_ knew what the problem was. All she knew was that she was scared of Frank. That every time she looked at him, she felt an uncontrollable will to cry and hide. That was all she knew. Luckily, both Jim and Frank were too busy in their own private matters to actually ‘force’ Agatha to interact with the ‘family’. Jim hoped that when everything was over, he’d take care of that.

But, of course. Nothing was like he expected to be. After watching his uncle shooting himself in the head, he called Agatha. The girl answered the phone and he spoke with a trembled voice. She sensed something was wrong when he asked her to leave town.

“What?” She breathed, sitting on her bed. “What do you mean leave town?”

 _“I just-”_ He let out a shaky breath. _“If they find out...”_

“Find out what?” She asked when he trailed off. “Jim, you have to let me know what’s going on.”

 _“I can’t. Just… Something bad is about to happen and I want you safe.”_ Agatha almost heard a sob. _“Call your boyfriend and leave with him.”_

“Jim-” She didn’t have time to demand an explanation, cause he had hung up on her. She swallowed hard, trying to process what had just happened.

“Everything okay?” Victor asked, from his spot at the bed.

Agatha looked at him as he kept his eyes on the book he was reading. He was lying across her, leaned on one side. One hand was holding the book, the other was on Agatha’s leg, who was sitting with her back against the headboard of her bed.

“Jim just asked me to leave town,” She said watching as he looked up from the book.

“For how long?” He asked, not moving another muscle.

“He didn’t say.” She shook her head. “He just… Told me something bad was about to happen and told me to leave.”

After a small pause, Victor spoke again.

“Do you want to leave?”

“Well, no… But last time he told me something bad was gonna happen...” She trailed off.

“You ended up killing that girl.” He completed for her, and she nodded, tears on the corner of her eyes.

Victor finally put his book down, sitting on the bed and approaching her. His uncovered hand touched her face, making her sigh with the contact. When he spoke, his voice was soft, almost in a whisper.

“I have a place out of town. We can stay there for a while, just the two of us...” He gave her a smile. “We can cuddle, watch some movies...”

Agatha couldn’t lie, the idea of cuddling with Victor made the butterflies in her stomach jolt with joy.

“My brother...” She whispered, feeling the tears ran down her cheeks.

“I know.” He sat beside her. “But you know he’ll be okay. He’s impossible to kill, I can tell.”

The comment made her chuckle and he smiled as he watched her smile. Wiping the tears off her face, Victor gently kissed her lips, comforting her. He stared deeply into her eyes, after the contact and she sighed, nodding, eventually.

“Okay,” She whispered, agreeing with him.

After packing some of her clothes and a few of her books, she left her apartment, leaving the key under the vase in the backdoor. She felt a certain sadness in her heart to know she’d be gone for an unknown time. But, she’d be okay.

She was with Victor Zsasz after all.

…

“You know when someone’s rich when they have stairs _inside_ their apartment.” Agatha chuckled, looking at Victor’s apartment. 

He didn’t have a place out of town. He _lived_ out of town. In a loft apartment, big enough to fit a party of 20 in his living room. It was pretty. The decoration was simple, an occasional plant here and there. Next to the stairs that led to the second floor, there a small clearing surrounded by walls of glass. Inside there were several plants, sitting gracefully.

“You have a cat!” She exclaimed when looked at the animal that made its way towards them. She crouched to pet it, its soft black fur giving her a satisfying feeling. The cat opened his one eye and meowed at her, making her chuckle. “What’s his name?”

“Eye-Of-The-Tiger,” Victor replied, putting her luggage on the floor.

Agatha looked up at him in awe. “You have a one-eyed cat named ‘Eye-Of-The-Tiger’?”

He frowned but nodded at her.

“That’s so...” She looked back at the cat. “ _You."_

He smirked at her as she stood up beside him. They stared each other for a moment and then, Agatha swallowed, looking away.

“Thank you,” She whispered.

His hands touched her chin, making her look at him again. Smiling, he kissed her softly and slowly. When he broke the kiss, she missed his touch instantly and sighed, smiling at him. Before she could touch him again, or say something, he walked away, entering the apartment.

“Make yourself at home!” He exclaimed, opening his arms as he went upstairs.

Agatha nodded at herself, exhaling. She couldn’t lie, she had spent the last few days very close to Victor and clinging for his touch. He respected her boundaries and mostly kept for himself, but each time he touched her, it was like an electricity rushing through her body, although she couldn’t explain why.

After settling in his bedroom – big and gorgeous, by the way – Agatha sat on the kitchen island as Victor made her dinner. They ate and talk for hours before deciding to watch a movie on the bed.

His fingers were tangled in her hair as she lay on his chest, hugging his torso. They were still wearing their normal clothes and the sun was setting when Agatha’s phone vibrated on the nightstand beside the bed. She jolted and quickly reached for it, almost falling from the giant bed.

“Jim?” She breathed, eager to talk to her brother.

“ _Peanut,”_

She sighed, feeling relieved her brother was still alive.

“ _Where are you?”_

“You told me to leave. I left.”

Jim sighed on the phone. _“Good.”_

“Can you tell me what’s going on now?”

“ _Not yet. When all this is over I… I’ll tell you.”_

“Promise?”

He hesitated. _“Promise. I have to go.”_

“Hey,” She called him before he hung up the phone. “Don’t die. Please.”

“ _I’ll try.”_

Agatha wiped her eyes and put the phone back on the nightstand, falling into Victor’s arms again. They were in silence for a moment before he asked.

“You okay?”

She nodded, without saying a word. His fingers traveled through her hair, sending shivers to her spine. She liked the feeling and didn’t want to ruin it talking about her brother. Scooting closer to him, she sighed, closing her eyes.

She didn’t plan to fall asleep in his embrace, but it just happened.

…

Agatha woke up with a horrible sensation. She felt hot and dirty, sweaty and uncomfortable. The covers on top of her were heavy and seemed to suffocate her. Kicking them away, she sat on the edge of the bed, sighing. It took a moment for her to realize she was in Victor’s bedroom, but he was nowhere to be seen. The room was darker, indicating the night had arrived.

Climbing off the bed, she felt thirsty and hot. So she changed into more comfortable clothes – her pajama set – and carefully went down the stairs. Grabbing a glass from the cupboard, she filled it with tap water and drank it all at once. Only then, she realized Victor was nowhere to be seen. She looked around the empty kitchen and frowned. He wasn’t in the bedroom when she woke up either.

A weird feeling crept into her chest but she shoved it away. He was probably fine. He knew how to handle himself… Right?

Sighing, she went upstairs again, to his bedroom. Grabbing her phone that was still on the nightstand beside the bed, she dialed his number. No response.

Agatha sighed, sitting on the bed.

 _He’s fine._ She told herself. _Shove the worry away, he’s fine, he can handle himself. He’s fine._

Taking a deep breath, she lay back on the bed and turned to the side he was when she fell asleep. On his nightstand, she saw a thick book. Crawling towards it, she picked it up and smiled at the title. _Pride and Prejudice._

A warm feeling invaded her heart as she remembered the first time she recommended him a book. He had told her he didn’t like it, but still owned a copy of it.

“Pumpkin?” His voice reached her ears and she looked up, putting the book back on the nightstand.

“Victor.” She climbed off the bed and wrapped her arms around him, pulling him into a tight hug.

He hesitated, but hugged her back, inhaling her scent.

“I couldn’t find you anywhere,” She whispered, head buried in his shoulder.

“I was just taking the trash out,” He replied with a smile.

Agatha let him go and frowned at him, almost laughing at herself for thinking he was in danger. He opened his mouth to say something, but she interrupted him by pressing her lips against his. The movement took him by surprise and it took a second for him to kiss her back. Putting his hands on her waist, he walked her back to bed where he laid her, climbing on top of her. He positioned himself between her legs, pressing his body against hers and deepening the kiss.

She gasped as Victor’s mouth left hers to kiss her jawline and neck, his hands running through her body. Agatha was never so sure of anything as she was at that moment. She wanted it. She wanted _him._

But that little voice in the back of her head, that was silent for a while, came back.

_"He’s gonna be gone in the morning."_

Agatha froze. Feeling her body tensing up, Victor stopped the kisses and looked down at her.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, his voice soft.

The girl swallowed looking into his eyes.

“You have a copy,” She whispered.

“What?” He frowned, confused.

Gently pushing him off her, she reached for the book, sitting on the bed again. She showed him the cover and he smiled, sitting in front of her.

“You told me you didn’t like it,” She said, a ghost of a smile on her face.

“I lied.” He gave her a small shrug. “I wanted you to think I was a tough guy.”

Agatha chuckled and shook her head. “You shot a hobo in front of me! Didn’t you think that was enough?”

“No,” He laughed.

Silence fell between as their smiles faded away. Victor reached to touch her face and she looked at him, her mouth twisting into a smile.

"Be mine, Agatha," Victor said, sliding his hands on her back and pulling her closer to him.

"Victor..." Her voice was soft as she put her small hands on his shoulders as she straddled on his lap. "I'm a Gordon."

"When did I ever cared about that?" A half smile was on his lips.

Agatha chuckled, leaning over to lean her forehead on his.

"I'm scared," She whispered so soft, he could barely hear it.

Victor knew that he'd protect her if she'd ever get scared of something or someone. He had made that commitment with himself a long time ago. But that kind of fear... It was the only one he couldn't protect her from.

And that killed him.

"I'll never leave you." His mouth moved faster than his brain and when he realized, he had already said it.

Agatha, however, didn't move a muscle at the sound of the promise. She just sighed and closed her eyes.

"I have been told this before," She said and then moved back, without looking at him. She laid back on the bed, pulling the covers up to her chin. "Didn't end well."

Victor laid behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and pressing his lips against her neck.

"I don't make promises I don't intend to keep," He whispered into her skin. "Be mine, Agatha Gordon."

She felt chills in her skin as his hot breath touched it, and smiled to herself. That would be nice. Having him by her side, feeling his touch whenever she needed, seeing him smile...

Letting out a shaky breath, she turned around in his arms until she was facing him on the bed.

“For a hitman, you're not that bad, Victor Zsasz.” She smiled at him and pressed her lips to his. He smiled into her mouth and brought her even closer, pressing her body against his again.

He hummed in response, feeling her hot breath on his neck.

“I had a bad relationship in the past,” She whispered into his skin.

He frowned, confused at the sudden change of subject.

“It was toxic. Manipulative. And sometimes he’d do things… things I didn’t want to.”

Victor tried to push her away, to look at her eyes, but she hugged him tighter.

“Agatha, I’d never-”

“I know,” She interrupted him, letting him go and looking at him. “I just...”

Agatha sighed and looked away.

“You don’t trust me.”

“I trust you,” She replied firmly, looking back at him. “If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be here.”

A thin smile formed on his lips.

“I’m just scared.” She shrugged.

Victor touched her face, cupping her cheeks.

"It's okay to be scared, Pumpkin," He brushed a hair out of her face. "As long as it's not of me you're scared of."

Agatha smirked at him and leaned to give him a kiss on the lips.

"Not anymore."

...

_Agatha woke up with the lack of warmth she went to sleep the night before. The sun peeked through the curtains, and the room was empty. She didn't smell breakfast or heard noises in the kitchen._

_She was alone._

_The clock marked almost six in the morning and, though she was tempted to sleep more, the girl reached for her phone by the nightstand._

_No messages. No missing calls._  

_Sighing, she sat on the bed looking at the empty spot beside her. She frowned and climbed out of bed, leaving the room and reaching the stairs. Her bare foot touched something wet and warm on the floor. It was red and only then, she noticed it was everywhere._

_"Victor?" She called him, going down the stairs and avoiding the blood stains._

_The living room was a mess and it seemed like a fight had happened there. She walked to the kitchen, feeling the worry take over her again._

_"Victor?" She called again, her voice fading away at the sight of the body on the floor._

_He had his back to her but she'd recognize him anywhere._

_Agatha couldn't move or say anything as his blood slowly made its way to her feet, staining her toenails._

_"Victor..." Her voice trembled, being only a whisper and the tears started to run down her cheeks._

_"This is your fault, Peanut." She heard Jim's voice echoing and looked baking her to see Uncle Frank and her brother pointing their guns at her._

She opened her eyes and felt the bed move again. He was there. He was alive. The soft light from the lamp on his nightstand lit the whole room as she turned around to face him.

He was reading _Pride and Prejudice_ , focused on the story with a frown on his face. Agatha smirked and slid her hands under the coves, hugging his torso and leaning her head to his chest.

Victor didn't take his eyes off the book, but he did make room for her. Hugging her with one arm, the other held the book up, to his eye level. Agatha rubbed her fingers on the skin of his neck with her thumbs, and inhaled deeply, feeling his unique scent.

"What are you doing?" He asked with his dragged voice.

"Making sure you're here," Agatha mumbled burying her face on his chest.

He smiled. "Did you have another nightmare?"

"What makes you think that?" She smiled.

It had been a week since she was staying with Victor. Even though her brother didn't give her any news, she was glad she was with him. She didn't felt that happy in ages.

"You've been having nightmares since we got here." He put the book down and looked at her.

Her smile slowly faded away. Her arms hugged him tighter, avoiding the topic.

"I don't wanna talk about it," Her voice sounded muffled.

"Maybe you should."

Victor touched her face and grabbed her cheeks, making her look at him. He didn't say anything, but the message was clear to her. He wanted her to talk about what was going on on her head.

"You were dead, uncle Frank was there." She shrugged, not looking at him. "Jim showed and... told me it was my fault."

Her eyes started to water and she sighed, trying not to let the tears fall.

"Hey," He whispered, bringing her closer to him. His hands found their way to her waist as she straddled on his lap. "That guy is dead, Pumpkin. I'm here."

“I know,” She whispered, looking deep into his eyes.

Suddenly, she felt a need to tell him. For a week, all that touching and kissing and going to the farmer market or having a movie matinee night and doing all the couple things possible…

“I want it.”

Victor frowned, sitting up and touching the outside of her legs – that were still straddled on his lap. He knew exactly what she meant. Even though they never really talked about it, there were some boundaries between them. Sex wasn’t an option. And he thought it would never be. He didn’t mind. He really liked Agatha and being around her and talking to her and kissing her… If he didn’t know better he could say he was…

No. The L word wasn’t an option either.

“What?” He asked, giving her a chance to change her mind.

Agatha let out a breath. “I want you.”

A moment of silence was shared between them. Victor held himself back, trying not to rush things up and brushed a strand of hair out of her face.

"Are you sure?" He asked before feeling her lips touch his and her hands find their way to the back of his neck.

"Yes," She said into his mouth and brought herself closer to him.

He let out a grunt and tightened his grip on her tights, moving her hands to her ass. She let out a gasp when his mouth moved to her neck, leaving a trail of wet kisses. He held her as he laid her back on the soft mattress, taking a moment to look at her face.

Agatha let out a small moan as one of his hand cupped her breast and his lips assaulted her skin once more. She could feel the heat creeping into her body, the desire of being with him growing bigger and bigger.

The moment was interrupted, though, when Agatha's phone started buzzing on the nightstand beside the bed.

Victor let out a frustrated groan and got off her, standing on his knees. He looked at her as if asking permission for something.

She gave him a half smile and shrugged, with an apologetic look on her face. "It could be Jim."

Sighing, but smirking at her, he reached for the nightstand, grabbing her phone and handing to her.

"Hello?" She answered the phone, smiling at him.

Her back was still on the mattress and legs were still open, with Victor positioned in the middle. He watched as her smile quickly faded.

"Yes... Now?" She leaned her elbows on the mattress. "What happened? Harvey, what's going on? Harvey- Shit!"

Agatha quickly untangled herself from Victor and climbed out of the bed.

"Pumpkin?"

"Something happened to Jim," She said as she grabbed the first piece of clothing she found. "They wouldn't tell me, but they said they need me at the precinct immediately."

Walking to the bathroom, she changed her pajamas set in some jeans and a shirt. When she left the place, Victor was already up.

Suddenly, Agatha felt nauseous and swallowed hard, trying to ignore the bitter taste of the bile on her mouth.

"Hey," Victor approached her. “Are you okay?”

She looked at him and shook his head, tears already filling her eyes. “The last time they called me… Isabella...”

She trailed off as Victor hugged her. He wasn’t sure of what to say, so he made sure to let her know he was there for her, no matter what.

Huh. How much he had changed for her.

…

Agatha's hands shook as she entered the silent police department, with her breath on her throat. Harvey was the first to see her and Zsasz entering the room. The girl left him no time for questions and walked straight towards him, going up the stairs.

“What is going on?!” She demanded, hands closing into fists.

“What is he doing here?” Harvey pointed to Victor who still by the foot of the stairs.

“Relax,” Victor said, a smile on his face. “I’m with the lady.”

“You’re with-”

“I will not talk about this until you give me some answers!” Agatha interrupted him. “Where is my brother?!”

Agatha looked confused to him and Harvey made her sit down, giving a brief summary of what had happened to Jim. Since the Alice Tetch virus, to Lee Thompkins Then, he gave her the walkie-talkie Lee had given to him.

“Jim?” Agatha said.

“ _Agatha.”_ The walkie-talkie echoed and the girl sighed, closing her eyes.

“Jim...” Her voice broke. “I don’t know… I- I don’t understand...”

“ _It’s okay,”_ Jim said. _“I just wanted to talk to you before I...”_

Agatha sobbed and closed her eyes shut. “Jimbo...”

“ _Hey, you’re gonna be fine,”_ Jim’s voice broke too.

“But you’re not,” She cried into the walkie. “Jim, you’re all I have, I can’t- I can’t lose you.”

“ _Peanut-”_

“No!” She interrupted him. “Take the virus.”

“ _Agatha, I can’t-”_

“Take the goddamn virus, Jim! You’ll figure something out, you always do. Just… Please...”

“ _I love you. But I can’t do that.”_  

“Jim-”

Before she could say something else, Jim turned the walkie-talkie off.


End file.
